AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’ll get my jacket. It’s got my keys and wallet.” James goes out to his office.
As I collect my purse, Alex comes over. “Anything you need, you just call me,” he murmurs.
“Okay.”
“Cool.” He smiles. “Thanks for stepping up.”
“It’s the least I can do. I feel so helpless.”
“Yeah, everyone does at times like these.”
“Poor James.” I watch him come out of his office, carrying his jacket. “Do you think he’ll want custody of Leia?”
Alex watches him as well. “He’s always been very vocal about not wanting kids. But if it means someone else bringing up Leia? I don’t know.”
James comes back into the room and looks around at all the paperwork. “Tyson,” he says hesitantly, “I’m sorry…”
“Don’t worry about it,” Tyson says immediately. “I’ll get everything sorted.”
James nods. “Okay. Let’s go.”
He has a final bearhug with Alex and Tyson, and then we head out of the building. Outside, he shakes hands with the sergeant and constable, and they go back to their car, while we go over to the Range Rover. James gestures to the front, but I shake my head and get in the back, and he slides in beside Henry. Before long, we’re heading toward the hospital.
James looks out of the window, his elbow on the sill, his fingers resting on his lips, lost in thought. I pull out my phone and send my mum a text, letting her know what’s happened. I wonder whether James will want me to stay at his place? If so, I will have to call home and pick up some things.
“I still can’t believe it,” James says.
“I know.” Henry shakes his head. “It’s like a bad dream.”
“I keep telling myself she wouldn’t have taken her own life. But our conversation last night was strange, as if she knew she wouldn’t talk to me again.” He huffs an angry breath. “I should have gone over there.”
“It’s not your fault,” Henry says.
“But she asked me to go…”
“If it was an accident, it’s not your fault,” Henry repeats.
“I don’t think it was an accident.”
“If that’s true, it still wasn’t your fault. And it wasn’t Leia’s fault, and it wasn’t Maddie’s fault. If you have to blame anyone, blame the depression, the black dog, if you will. It’s a selfish, horrific condition where the person afflicted is in so much pain that they can only think about themselves and making the pain stop. There’s nothing you could have done, James. You couldn’t spend every minute of every day with her.”
“I should have gotten her more help. I should have been there to save her…”
“The level of support you offered her was based on your understanding of her situation at that time. If you’d known this was going to happen, of course you’d have gone over there, but you didn’t. It was her life, and hers to take, if indeed she did. If she was suicidal, she wouldn’t have been thinking clearly or rationally. And you still don’t know. The police officers didn’t mention a note, right?”
James’s eyebrows rise. “No.”
“I’m no expert, but to me that either means it wasn’t suicide, or it wasn’t pre-meditated. She didn’t go up there planning to do it. So how could you have known, if she didn’t know herself?”
James looks out of the window again. “You’re so fucking logical.”
Henry gives him an affectionate glance. “If you want to blame yourself, there’s nothing I or anyone else can do about it, but that’s not going to help Maddie or Leia.”
James just sighs.
“What are you going to do about Blue?” Henry asks.
“The police will have to find him. I’m not going looking for him.”
