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“They’re looking for him now,” Henry says.
“They’re not treating her death as suspicious though, are they?” Alex asks.
“They said they weren’t,” I reply, “I think the DI believes Maddie called Blue to tell him about the baby, and he said he didn’t want to know, which upset her so much she killed herself.”
“Doesn’t sound like Maddie,” Alex says.
I give him a relieved look. “Thank you. I don’t think so either.”
“She’d have been more likely to tell him to fuck himself.”
I give a short, humorless laugh. “Yeah.”
“So he’s not on the birth certificate?”
“Nope.”
“And she listed you as Leia’s guardian?”
“Yep.”
“So he’d have to apply to the court to be a guardian?”
“I guess. I need to see a lawyer to sort out the legality of it all.”
He gives me a level look. “What will you do if they find him and he wants to play a part in her life?”
“Strangle him? Shoot him?”
“Push him down a flight of stairs,” Tyson suggests.
Henry shrugs. “Poison would be less conspicuous.”
“I’ll rig up a piano to drop on him,” Alex says.
We all give small smiles.
“I don’t know yet,” I say carefully. “I feel like my head’s going to explode. I don’t want kids.”
They all sigh.
“But she’s Maddie’s girl,” I say. “I’d be a fucking arsehole not to look after her, right?”
Alex meets my gaze steadily. “We’ve all known each other a long time. I think we can be honest with each other, don’t you?”
I shrug.
“What’s happened to Maddie is sad and unfortunate, but it’s not your fault,” he says. “You work long hours. You’re away a lot. You’ve never wanted children. I wouldn’t think less of you if you were to say that you wanted to remain her guardian and have a say in her future, but that you would prefer it if someone else had day-to-day care of her.”
I appreciate his honesty. He’s saying what he thinks I want to hear. But I know without having to ask that if he were in my place, he wouldn’t be giving Leia away.
I look at Henry, who just frowns. Then at Tyson, who suddenly feels the desire to try to erase a smudge on the car.
All at once, I feel an overwhelming weariness.
“Okay,” I say. “Well, I’m heading home. Aroha’s picking up some stuff and then she’s going to come over and be Leia’s nanny until we work things out.”
Alex and Tyson exchange amused glances.
