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“Like what?
“If he enjoys inflicting pain.”
“Like a sadist?”
“Yes”
My face heats. Does holding down and spanking count? Does it matter if the bite of pain drives my pleasure to unbidden heights? “I- I don’t know.”
“You do, in your gut.”
Ryan craves my submission, but he also respects my boundaries. He would never force anything on me.
I sigh. “I went with my gut feeling with Viv’s situation too, and I turned out very wrong.”
Ethan tries to reassure me, even in the middle of their own chaos. “Listen, give me a sec. We’re just heading down to the car, then I’ll be right back with you, okay?”
“I feel like I’m just adding to your load. We can talk later,” I offer, not wanting to burden them further.
Bonnie insists “Don’t you dare hang up. We’ll figure this out together.”
After long minutes punctuated by groans, curses, and Ethan’s calming words, I finally hear the sounds of traffic through the phone. Ethan’s voice returns, steady and clear. “Stella, there has to be another explanation. Maybe the ring isn’t as unique as you think.”
I counter quietly. “You haven’t seen Harriet. She has the Fairchild look. Ryan’s eyes. How can that be a coincidence?”
Bonnie’s voice filters through, her breaths punctuated by discomfort. “It’s true. What are the odds?”
“You should talk to him then,” Ethan suggests.
“And say what?” By his own admission, he was practically drunk all through college; he doesn’t even remember graduating.
I consider all the scenarios of us talking about this.
If he doesn’t remember does make him innocent? No.
If he denies it, would I believe him? No.
And if he remembers and admits to it could I survive the heartbreak? No
“I can’t face him, Ethan” I say, my voice barely a whisper “I just can’t. But I need to know the truth. Right now, I can only trust the truth.”
I thought I’d gotten to know the true Ryan, the incredible person beneath that carefully crafted exterior. I fell for him, trusted him more than I’ve ever trusted anyone. And now, it feels like I’ve lost my footing and tumbled into darkness.
I should have known better. Nothing this wonderful ever happens to me. He was too good to be true.
Ethan’s steady voice cuts through my pain, almost as if he’s offering me a lifeline. “Stella, what do you want to do now?”
“I need to leave this place. Now.” The decision cements itself with each word.
Bonnie warns, “Stella, leaving without finding out the truth will haunt you, Stella.” To her husband she pleads, “Ethan, please do something.”
If I didn’t feel so hollow, I might find Bonnie’s plea amusing. She really believes Ethan can work miracles.
Bonnie continues amid short gasps that tell me she’s having another contraction. “Ethan, I know Ryan is your friend, and you will want to protect him...”
Ethan scoffs, already knowing this is boiling down to him choosing sides. “You’re my priority, baby, and Stella is your best friend. There are no sides to take here, there’s just the truth.”
“Okay,” Bonnie replies, “but you know what that means, right?”
