AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“About Ivy.”
I go still, waiting for her to continue.
“How you loved and cared for her.” She gently touches my jaw. “Ryan, that’s why you keep everywhere so spotless... and why you need your own space isn’t it? He told me how you grieved for her every year.”
Her words are like tiny icicles on my skin. I hear her, but I don’t understand why we’re discussing Ivy right now. Standing, I walk to the window. It’s been ages since I let myself fully remember. She’d wanted to live so badly. To be with me. She’d fought as long and as hard as she could. Until I had to let her go.
I feel Stella’s hand on my back, and the tension begins to ease.
As if sensing my relief, she wraps her arms around me and presses her cheeks against my back.
“Ry, please say something. Are we... broken?”
“Broken?” I turn to face her, confused. “Why would we be broken, Stella?”
“Because I should have talked to you first. Trusted you.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, completely taken aback.
“I didn’t tell you everything about Vivian.”
“Okay?” I say, wondering where this is going.
“She was drugged and raped at one of the Greenhouse parties.”
I feel a chill run down my spine. That explains her reaction to the Greenhouse trophy. “Baby, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I was an idiot. I was falling for you, and I was scared. Scared of giving you something so precious in case you didn’t feel the same way.”
I probe, trying to understand, “You were afraid of giving me your heart?”
“Yes, but more than that, I was terrified of trusting you with my pain.”
I felt the same way about what happened with Ivy. It was too deep a wound to share with just anyone. I was too used to keeping that part of me locked away, it was hard to begin to trust Stella. “I understand, baby.”
An emotion very much like hope flickers in her eyes. “You do?”
I nod. Suddenly, a flash of excruciating pain hits me, and my left eye fills with water. I swipe my thumb across my eyelid and flick it away.
“Oh Ry.” She cups my face. “You’ve got a headache.”
“It’s nothing. It’ll pass.” I drag her into my arms as she sinks her fingers into my scalp and massages. “I had the same fear so I never told anyone what I went through during Ivy’s sickness. Not even my therapist. People only saw the surface.”
“Xavier told me a little about that... and about how you would go to the lake house every year.”
“Yes,” I admit, feeling a sense of peace for the first time in a long while. “Although recently, it’s been different. Instead of the old guilt and pain, I’ve found a sort of acceptance and even fond memories. It’s incredibly beautiful there. Would you like to see the lake house?”
“Yes, I’d love to. Thank you.” She rests her head against my chest, seeking comfort in the closeness. “But why didn’t you go there last Halloween?”
Her question catches me off guard, and for a moment, I’m lost in thought. “I forgot. Despite having her painting above my headboard, I didn’t remember until you asked me about the lake house. Being with you, Stella, is such a high. I’m consumed by you.”
“You see, it was when Xavier told me that’s where you went at that time every year I felt so terrible that I didn’t trust my gut instinct—that you couldn’t have done it.”
“Done what?” And then, it hits me. I freeze. “You thought I assaulted your sister.”
The pain that rips through me then is indescribable, like sharp claws tearing at my chest. My breath rushes out in a whoosh.
“Ryan—” She starts to plead, but I gently push her away, taking a few steps back.
