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“It’s… personal.”
“Good thing you’re naked and in my lap, wife. It doesn’t get more personal than that. No more running from this.”
She takes a deep breath and releases it in a rush. “I was desperate because I’m trying to adopt my niece.”
“Your sister had a daughter?”
She nods. “Her name is Harriet. She’s the most adorable little girl. I’ve been trying for the past couple of years. For the first few months, they wouldn’t even look at my application.”
She burrows closer to me, folds her legs in my lap, and buries her nose into my chest, letting my warmth seep into her skin. I would never have guessed how big of a cuddler Stella is.
Holding her this way triggers frissons of unease down my spine, but I’m not about to interrupt what she’s saying. Besides I made her do this by not letting her get dressed.
“I was so close last time Ryan. I’d already got a financial adviser to help me straighten things out, and things were looking up, and I had finally saved enough to move to a better neighborhood. That should have cinched things for us.”
“So what happened?”
“Harriet’s foster parents decided they want to adopt her too. And they are wealthy, married, and she’s settled in with them, so their application would be stronger.”
“Ah hell. Is that why you were crying the other day?”
She nods. “I’d just been to the agency that morning.”
“I see. And now that you’re married, have you contacted them again?”
She shakes her head. “I’ve only told them to give me some time, that my circumstances might be changing soon. But I’ve been terrified of reaching out. I fear that they’ll see through this marriage. And this might be the final refusal.”
I hold her tight against me, feeling her pain, angst, and sense of urgency.
Something stirs deep in my chest—in that cold, dark place that I never let anyone reach. My first instinct is to get her away from me. Put the distance of the past month between us again. But Stella needs me and I know she’s too stubborn to ask.
Before I realize what words are coming out of my mouth, I say. “Do you want me to help you get her Stella?”
She twists to look at me, surprise and hope in her features “You could? You would do that?”
“Of course. I’m still your husband. We should leverage what you have now.”
She bursts into tears, sobbing into my neck.
“Is that a yes then?” I murmur in confusion.
“Oh God yes! Yes. Thank you, Ryan.”
In the next moment, she raises her head and looks at me with those gorgeous green eyes luminous with joyful tears, and I know she’s about to kiss me. The knot of unease tightens, and I tense, fighting to hide my irrational urge to push her away. She bites her lip and desire wars with apprehension, tempting me to taste her lips.
She leans in, and by reflex, I rear back. That makes her pause, a furrow of confusion appearing between her brows before smoothing out as she no doubt recalls my hard limit.
She flushes, but manages a lovely smile. “Thank you, Ryan.”
“Sure.” My response is more clipped than I would have liked. “I’ll get Gina on it ASAP. She snacks on cases like this and will get it done in no time. Shall I talk to her, or would you prefer to do it yourself?”
“I’ll, um, I’ll speak to her. Thanks again, Ryan.”
“Anytime, Stella.” My voice is softer now but still strained.
As if aware of my unease, she disentangles from my lap and pads across the room. I watch her put on her clothes, wanting her to leave but wishing she would stay wrapped around me.
“Goodnight,” she whispers softly.
