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Laura touched her glass to mine and walked away. She knew I didn’t need to answer her comment nor would I have known what to say if I did. I finished my drink and left the bar. I suddenly didn’t want to be around anyone and needed to figure out what I was going to do next.
I didn’t have a destination in mind but walked slowly along the beach. The tide was out and it gave me plenty of sand to walk along. As the beach was deserted, I was left with only my thoughts for company.
What did I want with Sydney? Normally, I took the time at Maya Sunset to have fun, pick up a woman or three, enjoy them and forget about them. If I were to get involved with Sydney there would be no forgetting her. She was too important and too different than any other woman I had ever been with.
Getting involved with her wouldn’t be an easy thing. It would be complicated, not only for us but for everyone we knew. Did I really want to start something that could change our relationship forever? Was I just looking for something that wasn’t there and by pursuing it would I ruin our family and what we had created in the process?
I didn’t have a true answer to any of those questions. My mind raced with questions and no answers and certainly no idea what I wanted to do. What if Sydney wasn’t as interested in me? What if I tried something with her only for her to laugh in my face? Was I only letting Alison and then Laura make me see something that I wanted to see but wasn’t actually there?
A movement caught my eye as there was someone standing alone on the beach. I knew before she turned around that it was Sydney. She was wearing the same dress, but she had undone her hair so it blew lightly in the breeze. Her eyes were closed and her face was tilted towards the water as if she was willing the sounds of the waves to help her.
I stood transfixed by her and what I was seeing. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. As I walked towards her as if I was in a trance, I knew that I wanted her, I wanted to see what we could be. The rewards of having her in my life, in my arms, was worth everything. I increased my speed as I got closer to her. I knew what I wanted to do with her now and I wasn’t going to wait another second for it to happen.
Chapter 6
Sydney
I hadn’t wanted to go back to the room. I also hadn’t wanted to sit across from Cameron and pretend that nothing was wrong. He was still his kind, charming self. He was still incredibly easy to talk to and had us all laughing as he told us stories at dinner. There was a reason he was such a successful surgeon and it wasn’t only because he was so good at his job. He might be quiet but when he turned on the charm there wasn’t anyone who didn’t want to be around him. Except, I had no desire to anymore that night.
It had been too hard to be around him and suppress my feelings, much less try to understand them. I wasn’t sure what to think or how to feel. All it did was put me in a bad mood and make me horrible company to be around. It was why I gave everyone a lame excuse and left. I was sure it was because I had too much sun that I wasn’t thinking straight. It was because I was lonely and thought I would be here with my ex that I was looking for someone to be with. It was easy to transfer my feelings, my loneliness onto Cameron. Sure, I had always been attracted to Cameron but I never thought about acting on it. Now, it was all I could think about and it had to stop.
It didn’t matter. I was sure he was off with Trina for the night or whoever else he might be interested in. I wouldn’t even be a consideration to him and because of that he shouldn’t be to me. Try as I might to come up with excuses as to why I was thinking this way, I knew it was impossible for me to deny that I simply wanted Cameron.
I was putting a damper on the whole vacation. I hated that because of how I was feeling I had cut the evening short. I didn’t want Laura or Alison to be worried about me. I knew I would have to explain things to them tomorrow and I wasn’t sure what I would tell them. I thought it would be best to just push my feelings down and pretend they weren’t there. I just wasn’t sure how I would do it. I needed to take some time, get my feelings under control and get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow I would be better prepared to handle what I was thinking and feeling or at least push it down.
“Lovely night, isn’t it?” a voice said behind me.
A chill went down my back that had nothing to do with the cool breeze. Even before I turned around, I knew I would see Cameron standing there. He was the last person I expected to see and it felt like my thoughts had conjured him up.
“Yes, yes, it is,” I said and ran my hands over my shoulders.
“Are you cold? Are you still feeling unwell?” Cameron asked.
“No. I’m fine. I came here to get some air. It’s so strange how quiet the beach gets at night.”
“I agree. I like coming here and taking a walk before I go to bed. The sounds of the waves, the solitude, it helps me to sleep.”
“Do you have trouble sleeping?” I asked.
“The correct answer is because I’m a surgeon I should be able to fall asleep at a moment's notice. Unfortunately, that isn’t how it works. My mind likes to go and it’s hard to shut it off. However, after I walk here, it’s the only time that I can fall asleep and stay asleep all night.”
“Okay, then I won’t keep you,” I said and nodded at him while I walked past him.
“Wait. Don’t go,” Cameron said.
I turned to look at him and his eyes roamed over my body before they settled on my face. He gave me a slow smile and if I didn’t know any better, I would have thought he was checking me out.
“You said you liked the quiet, you liked the sounds. I don’t want to take that away from you,” I said.
It was hard enough being around him when there were other people around. It was next to impossible to be this close under such a romantic setting and try to make polite conversation. I couldn’t pretend like everything was okay. I wanted to find the quickest way to get away from him before I said or did something I would regret.
“You aren’t. We could enjoy it together. Will you sit with me for a while?” he asked and sat down on the beach.
I looked at him for a moment and didn’t answer him. What was he getting at? What did he want? I couldn’t see him wanting to spend time with just me on the beach. Why would he when he could use the same move on countless other women.
“Thank you for the offer but I’m sure there are other people you would like to be here with.”
“I can’t think of anyone,” he said and gave me one of his dazzling smiles.
