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It hadn’t taken much encouragement to convince my sister, Fiona, and my brother, Cian, to abdicate as well. They’d been eighteen and seventeen at the time. They’d liked my presentation. They’d been fully on board.
Of course, I’d fully believed that once we left, the king would realize how serious we were, and he’d come after us—okay, he’d send people after us—bring us back to Cara, and have an actual conversation about my plan.
He hadn’t.
He’d won that game of chicken, no doubt about it.
It wasn’t as if we were in exile. We’d all lived happily in the US for ten years as undercover royals. We could have returned to Cara at any time. In fact, we did come back for holidays and such. But…we hadn’t officially returned. Cian and Fiona are still very happy in the US.
But when I’m completely honest, I can admit that I was unhappy. I hadn’t expected to be away from home for ten years. I hadn’t expected my grandfather to be so fucking stubborn. I hadn’t expected him to just go on without us.
“The entire country knows how you left, Torin,” he says.
Of course, they do. Even if we weren’t a very small country, news like the three grandchildren of the king—the only heirs—suddenly leaving the country would have spread.
“There’s been underlying unrest ever since you left. There have been questions about succession. More questions arose after Saoirse’s birth was uncovered. Then my health concerns worried everyone even more. The country has been upset not knowing what’s going to happen, and what the future holds.”
Of course it has! I want to shout. He could have fixed all of that by reaching out, by talking to us, to me. I would have come home before this. But he would have had to meet me partway.
Diarmuid O’Grady doesn’t do that. Apparently.
“I’m here now,” I say, trying to stay calm so we can actually finish this conversation. “Tell them I’m ready, and crown me before you have another health scare.” My mother and grandmother and his physician have told him this same thing, repeatedly. “You need to willingly, happily hand over the crown before you have to so the country knows that you have confidence in me, so they can as well.”
I don’t say the part about how if he dies and I take the crown because there’s no choice, it will be harder for everyone to trust that I’m truly ready.
He knows this. Very well. He took the throne after his father’s unexpected passing from a massive heart attack at the age of sixty-one.
That has, of course, also added to everyone’s anxiety about his heart condition and the what-ifs.
He has to give me the crown.
And fuck, I want that.
I am an intelligent, well-traveled, highly educated man who loves his country and family enough to give up the life he knew, turn everything upside down, and come home to lead.
I love this country.
I loved it enough to advocate for a representative government because I thought that would be best for the people, and then abdicate the throne to show how serious I was.
I loved it enough to swallow my pride and come back when it became clear the country, and my family, needed me.
“You returned only when you feared Saoirse might be called upon to come to Cara,” my grandfather says, equally frustrated. “And now you jet off to America every time you get bored or don’t get your way.” He points a finger at me. “The people see everything, Torin. You have to remember that. If you’re to be the leader, you have to accept that your actions, attitude, and words matter. All of them.”
The media in Cara amounts to one newspaper and a radio station that has a broadcast that is also a podcast that posts on social media and blogs in addition to their three hours on air every day. The podcast is hosted by two women in their late twenties, Lindsey and Jen, who discuss everything from the weather to new recipes, women’s health issues, relationship advice, politics, and celebrity gossip. The last two overlap often when it comes to the royal family of Cara, it seems.
The following for the podcast Wait ’Til I Tell Ye increased substantially after Astrid and Alex became known internationally. Now people from around the world, but particularly Americans, follow their podcast and social media posts.
Unfortunately, my grandfather is not wrong when he says they pay attention to me. The news that the crown prince of Cara had been in hiding in the US and had suddenly returned home to take the throne had been a huge story.
And the idea that I fly around on my private plane, reportedly partying in Louisiana and shirking my duties in Cara, has been getting a lot of traction lately.
But I do go back to Louisiana regularly. It’s where my siblings are. Where my closest friends are. My best friend, Jonah, finally came to Cara after staying behind for the first year. Thank God. That first year was rough. I haven’t been back as often since he’s been here but…
Fine. I do leave Cara a lot.
I feel so damned useless here.
He’s also correct to point out that I rescinded my abdication for my niece.
