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“Rebound sex can be awesome.”
“I don’t want anyone else.”
Emma rests a lamp in her lap. “He must really have an incredible dick.”
“Unfortunately, he really does.”
She laughs and I can’t help it. I’m so strung out and exhausted, the only thing I can do is cry as I laugh with her. Tears are streaming down our faces. It’s more hysterical and reactive than it is funny, but it still somehow helps.
When we finally come up for air, she says, “Hang on. I need to rewind for a second. You said…he groveled?” I can detect the tiniest bit of awe in her at the question. “Like how? What did he say?”
“He said I wasn’t really fired and he wanted me to stay.”
Emma’s eyes round. “Why didn’t you?”
I throw my hands up. “I don’t know, Em. Because I’m insane and I was in too much of a state. I can’t believe I’ve just thrown away my entire future after all those freaking years of hard work and lost Ace in one fell swoop. I’m the stupidest person in the world.”
“You haven’t thrown away your future,” Emma scolds. “Don’t be so melodramatic. He groveled, Dusty.” She still seems distracted by the thought. “The CEO of one of the most successful companies in Manhattan groveled. I wish I could have seen that.”
I wipe fresh tears.
“Dust, you’re just overwhelmed because of everything that’s happened to you this week. But I think we should circle back to one important detail. Cash Maddox was pleading with you not to go.”
I sigh. He really had been…sincere. And gorgeous, of course. “Maybe I’m losing my mind. I’ve ruined everything.”
She asks the question gently. “What are you so scared of, Dust?”
“I don’t know.” But I do know. And so does she.
“You’re scared he’ll leave.” Emma knows the surface details of the old went-out-for-a-pack-of-cigarettes-and-never-came-back sob story. “It was always something you were going to have to overcome, Dusty.”
“I know.”
She contemplates me for a few seconds. “What else?”
“I’m scared of how unlike myself I feel. I’ve always been in control of my life. I knew exactly where I was headed and how I was going to get there. But with him…there’s no control. I completely lose myself in him.”
Emma’s eyes get shiny. “Holy fuck. You’re in love with him.”
I don’t even disagree with her. For the first time maybe ever, I tell her how I actually feel, instead of hiding from it. “It’s like he’s opened up a whole new universe in me that I didn’t know existed. One where I’m worshipped and adored and made to feel like a goddess. It’s been more than just a huge sexual awakening, it’s the first time I’ve ever experienced intimacy on any level at all—and this is just a surreal level. I can’t resist him and I never want to. But then…when reality seeps in, I always wonder if it could actually work.”
“I think it will work. I think it’s going to.”
My eyes start leaking again. “You do?”
So do hers. “Do you know how lucky you are? I’ve never felt like a goddess. Damn it.”
I slide down onto the floor next to her and give her a hug.
“What you need is a good night’s sleep, Dust. In the morning you’ll see that everything isn’t as dire as you think it is and that you two are probably soulmates because no one acts like this unless they’re having their entire existence upended.”
“I guess I’ve overreacted to everything.”
“You’re reacting. Which is something you’ve never done before. It’s a good thing.” Emma places a small red cordless lamp on the coffee table and turns it on. “This actually doesn’t look too bad, if you like a brothel-meets-Ikea vibe.”
Emma’s phone dings from where it’s sitting next to her on the floor. She picks it up and studies the message for a few seconds. “What the...”
“What is it? Who’s it from?”
