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“Maybe I’m not cut out for this!” I holler back at him.
“You are! You almost had it. Get your footing. Lean into it. Here comes a good one. Go!”
I paddle as the wave approaches me and, just as it starts to crest underneath me, I stand up. I lean into it, getting my balance.
And just like that, I’m surfing.
I’m standing on top of the wave as it carries me along its rolling surge and Lucas was right. It’s the best feeling I’ve ever had in my goddamn life. In this moment, I feel like the most powerful person in the world.
I can hear Lucas cheering as he surfs in behind me.
I lose my balance and fall off.
But as I climb onto my surfboard and let the waves take me back to shore, that taste of magic has transformed me. My limits have been obliterated. I’m as invincible as the forces of nature.
Whoa. Would you listen to yourself?
Lucas follows me back onto the beach and sets his surfboard on the sand next to mine. “That was awesome, Dusty. You’re a natural.”
I’m still buzzing and breathless. “You were right.”
“Surfing’s the source,” he says simply, and I can’t help sort of agreeing with him. “And now you can watch your life explode with good energy. I’d offer you another lesson tomorrow but I’m headed up to the North Shore tonight to see some friends. Want to come?”
I laugh. “No. Thanks. I’ve got the conference tomorrow.”
“Ditch the conference.”
I wrap my towel around myself. Lucas watches me do this. For a split second, still riding my high, the thought flickers through my mind: I could cash in my way overdue V-card with a random surfer while on a work trip in Hawaii. I could attend my last day of the conference as a newly-experienced, take-life-by-the-(literal)-balls sex goddess, with adrenaline still spiking through my veins from both joyrides.
And never see him again.
Objectively, he’s a good-looking guy—all dimples and bright eyes.
But there’s no part of me that wants to jump the conference ship and sail away with Mr. Waikiki. If anything, catching that wave only ramped up my ambition. I can surf. Which means I can do anything.
I decide I won’t ask Lucas to do me the honors. As nice as he is, I’m not feeling any real chemistry. Besides, I don’t do casual relationships—which is part of the reason I’m still a virgin at the advanced age of twenty-three.
I had plenty of attention from guys in college. But most of them were only interested in partying non-stop and talking endlessly about beer and football.
My roommate Emma told me the first time is always terrible anyway. Emma’s advice was to rip off the band-aid with any random stranger and then find someone you’re crazy about to help you get good at it.
But to me that sounded like terrible advice. I could never quite bring myself to follow it. I always felt like there should be something more to that first time than mechanics and just getting it “out of the way.”
Or maybe I’m an idiot for making it into a big deal when it isn’t. It’s just sex, according to Emma.
The fact that it’s been so hard to find any kind of genuine connection with a guy has made me wonder if something’s wrong with me. Maybe I’m just too picky. There doesn’t need to be fireworks and instant electricity, does there? I guess that’s what Emma meant. A spark could turn into a bonfire, given long enough.
But I’ve never felt more than a flicker for anyone. Not even once.
Even now. “I can’t ditch the conference, Lucas. But thanks for the lesson. Really.”
“You’ll remember me for the rest of your life. This is the day everything started to change for you. You’ll see.”
“I hope you’re right,” I laugh. “Have fun on the North Shore.”
“You sure you don’t want to come?”
“I’m sure. Enjoy those waves.” He makes a sort of sad face and I smile at him, turning to make my way back to the hotel. “Bye, Lucas.”
