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I longed to head upstairs and rip the sheet away, engaging in hours of passion until she screamed out my name. I wanted her begging for more, becoming as insatiable as I felt. I needed her to surrender to me completely, offering her body and soul.
Then after that I’d claim her heart. I closed my eyes, envisioning her face. The taste of her sweet mouth lingered on my lips. I’d locked her in the room, for fuck’s sake. That made me a real monster. Who the fuck did that? Who?
“Uh-huh. You haven’t slept in two days. You’re grouchy as fuck. You’re barking orders to everyone, including me. You’re not thinking clearly and it’s not just from exhaustion. Your mind is entirely on that woman. Who is stunning and suits you perfectly, I might add. The closeness you two share is evident by just walking into a room. That begs two questions. Why do you feel so strongly, because I know it’s not just because you met her in a bar, and why the hell aren’t you treating her like a queen?”
“She wouldn’t allow me to treat her like a queen,” I snapped, my balls aching more than before from just thinking about all the filthy things I wanted to do to her.
He chuckled as a wry smile crossed his face. “What aren’t you telling me, brother? What happened all those years ago, because I know it’s been eating at you almost as much as the fact Emmanuel Santiago is our real father?”
A better question was why the hell was my hand shaking from doing a simple task like refilling my drink?
Because you’re a fucking idiot.
With the glass refilled, I stared at the amber liquid. I hated the fact my brother was right about this as well. “We all have our crosses to bear, Dante. You aren’t alone in how the past kept you unsettled, how it almost fucked with your future. The night Xavier had me kill Jesus as a test of my loyalty, a little girl appeared out of nowhere. It was dark and stormy, the area the worst in the entire city. It was gang controlled, blood staining every sidewalk and street. Drugs were rampant, the number one source of income for the people who lived there. Xavier had insisted that the only good thing about the area was that I could practice my marksmanship, that no one was truly innocent. Yet there she was, a little blip in a hapless world of beasts and criminals walking down the street all by herself.”
“Sabrina?” He inched closer.
I nodded as I remembered her face that night. “She was smack in the line of crossfire. The Tijuana soldiers wouldn’t have cared if she was collateral damage. And I assure you that the men working for Xavier wouldn’t have shed a tear. I couldn’t allow her to be sacrificed in the name of a turf war so I saved her life. I abandoned my position on the forefront, leaving Ivan to almost be killed. I chose to ignore the man’s commands, leaving two soldiers to die in the streets while I hid her inside a fucking abandoned warehouse.” I forced myself to look in his direction, surprised he wasn’t wearing an admonishing expression.
Then again, my brother was mostly a good man while I was exactly the opposite.
“Wow. You really did. You were her hero.”
“Yeah, using that word isn’t right for a man like me. It’s not something I can lie about. I don’t know what possessed me to leave Ivan in the street to handle the enemy soldiers who were coming out of the sewers like rats, but I did. She was maybe ten or eleven, appearing in the kill zone. The last bastards were hunting me since I’d killed their leader. Something required me to protect the girl. I don’t know why. But in doing so, I defied our father. As you might imagine, that didn’t go over well with Xavier. He made certain I would never forget I’d fucked up.”
“That’s why you have scars on your back.”
“Yes. He made certain I never disobeyed him again.”
Dante looked away. “He was very much like Emmanuel, ensuring we knew the rules, testing us when necessary.”
“Perhaps so.” I’d learned it was Emmanuel who’d trained him into becoming a killer, which had allowed him to feel confident in taking over my life for those few months, pretending to be me. He’d done a damn good job, but my brother would always carry the light of angels over his head. That was because my mother was his main influence. I’d wondered often what I would have turned out like if she’d been in my life.
“Does Sabrina know you’re the one who saved her?”
“Only recently. Hell, I didn’t know who she was at first. I didn’t get her name back then and both of us have changed significantly. Even though I tried to find her, to ensure she was still alive, I had no clue where she’d gone or where she lived. Plus, that wasn’t the best area for me to return to. Cut to twenty years later. As I told you, we met in a bar in Sitka, hitting it off. It was out of blue, or so I hope to think.”
“Wait a minute. You thought she set you up.”
Shrugging, I moved closer to the window, trying to rationalize my ridiculous thoughts. “I did for a little while, but I don’t think so now. Besides, our connection was electric and not contrived, so much so I almost lost my mind around her. But it can’t be coincidence that the drugs appeared in that city.”
“Huh. Maybe someone else knew what happened.”
“I don’t know how and believe me, I’ve thought about it,” I told him.
“Did you tell anyone or did anyone else know?”
“You mean besides Xavier and Ivan? No.”
He shrugged. “Maybe she did.”
“I guess I’ll need to ask her.
“Someone had to know your connection but there has to be more than stragglers of Jesus’ former army developing a two-decade-long plan. Maybe the Death Squad found out and figured your connection was strong enough you’d lose your mind as you’re obviously doing.” He grinned at me, which made me laugh all over again. “So, does that mean Sabrina knows the truth at this point?”
“Yeah, I made her aware of our past connection and as soon as I did, that changed the slender tether between us, destroying it completely. She ran. She wanted nothing to do with me. I saw the look in her eyes minutes ago. She absolutely hates me for deceiving her and I don’t blame her.”
“But you won’t let her go.”
