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“Yeah.”
“And Arsen knows?”
My whole body flinches at the sound of his name, as if merely mentioning it might summon him into the room. “He does.”
Leaning away, she stands up and dusts her pants off. “You don’t have to say anything if you’re not ready, Galina.”
I balk, eyeing her in disbelief. “What?”
“The only thing you need to say is if you’re in danger.” Running her hands through her hair, she locks her eyes with mine. “Because if you are, I’m going to help.”
This act of kindness is why we’re friends. Who else could pry so close to a juicy secret, then walk away before the lid is cracked to see inside? It’s not the first time she’s taken my cue and resisted pushing me. When Simon first started hurting me, I couldn’t tell anyone.
I was too ashamed and convinced that it would get better.
Audrey saw my bruises and the signs of abuse. When she confronted me, I clammed up. Someone else would have pushed, shutting me down further. But she allowed me to come to her at my own pace. When I did, she was there for me with hugs, soothing words, and a couch to crash on until I got my life back together.
And right now, under her soft, reassuring gaze, I feel courage slowly perk up inside of me. Just enough for a single name to slip forth from my lips.
“Pyotr.”
“Who?” She arches her eyebrows in confusion.
“Pyotr Grachev.” I grab her hands and lower my voice in an urgent hiss. “I need you to help me find out if he’s real. If he existed. And if so … what happened to him.”
She opens her mouth to ask for more details. But I put my fingers to my lips for emphasis. The message is received, and she nods quickly.
“Okay.” She’s talking quieter than before. “I’ll do what I can.”
“Thank you. I mean it.”
Patting my arm, she eyeballs the door, sticking out her bottom lip. “We should go back and check on them. Before your husband kills mine.”
I laugh, but it rings hollow. I’m too consumed with the possibility of finding out who has been telling me the truth—my monster of a father or my monster of a husband. Once I know, it will remove the burden of the secret I’m carrying.
I’ll know for sure if Arsen killed a child in cold blood. And then I can be at peace about this.
But as I reach for the doorknob, another thought enters my mind.
No, I can’t.
The truth won’t remove my burden. Because there’s always the possibility that Arsen did murder Pyotr. That’s what I’m afraid of. Because that will be proof Arsen is exactly the monster I should fear. More importantly, it’ll be proof that he’s every bit the monster Yevgeniy told me he is. And if that’s the case, everything I want from Arsen will crumble to dust.
“Galina?” Audrey asks warily. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Blinking quickly, I put on my cheeriest smile. “Just felt a bit lightheaded from the heat.”
She looks at me with wariness in her eyes. I know she doesn’t believe me, but she knows better than to keep pushing me for an answer I’ll never give.
She knows when it’s time to let things rest.
But more importantly, she knows when it’s time to push.
She’s always known.
I wish I could say the same about myself nowadays.
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