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She’s right. I almost smile, but my anxiety is too heavy. “Can you keep a secret from Arsen?”
“I’ve kept a few already. What’s one more?” she asks placidly.
I swallow loudly. “This one could destroy everything.”
Her fingers squeeze mine before she backs away. The hardness in her eyes and mouth makes me certain she’s about to turn, escaping up the stairs. She doesn’t. Lingering in a long silence, Ulyana tips her chin upward until she’s watching me in that perceptive way of hers.
“Yes. I can.”
“Are you sure?” I pry. “It’s been nearly impossible for me. He has a way of looking into my eyes like he can read my mind. I’ve been on the verge of spilling my guts more than once.”
Ulyana’s smile is as coy as a child hiding a frog behind her back. “Of all the people in his circle, I’m the only one Arsen can’t intimidate.”
I’ve seen the interactions she’s referencing. Arsen doesn’t seem cowed by Ulyana. He allows her more leeway, more sharpness and defiance, than anyone else he faces off with. “Why is that? Why are you the only one he can’t terrify into submission?”
She dwells on my question. Lifting a hand, she brushes her sapphire earrings. “When he was young, he lost his parents. His mother first, then his father later. Nothing insidious, just a car accident and a heart attack. Not every death is a dramatic story.” She chuckles humorlessly. “I was hired by his father as a nanny before he passed on. I’m not sure if Arsen ever truly saw me as a mother figure, but our dynamic was set from the start. I spoke, he listened. That hasn’t changed as he’s aged.”
I nod slowly. “You stayed this whole time? Even when he was working for Yevgeniy?”
Her chest rises and falls gently. “Of course I stayed. He needed me more than ever then. His life was full of myriad, unpredictable dangers. I was the only constant in it. The power and money he gathered brought all kinds of people into his circle. He hired new girls to work for him here in this house.” She gestures around. “One of them was a fresh face with grand schemes. Lyubova. She wanted to be in charge. When I wouldn’t step aside, she tried to set me up. She hid jewelry that belonged to Kristina in my belongings.”
I gasp in horror. “That’s terrible.”
“She fought to convince Arsen I’d stolen from him. But he knew better. As a way of apologizing for the situation since he hired her, he gifted the jewelry to me.” Her fingers return to her earrings. “I’ve never owned a thing of worth. I don’t spend on myself. Money is useless to me. That was the difference between Lyubova and me. She had aspirations to rise. Instead … she was put underground.”
My hands clasp over my mouth. “Arsen killed her?”
Ulyana grimaces at me in disbelief. “Of course not. After she failed to take over my position here, she went seeking glory with less ethical types. Yevgeniy let her in, but he knew she was a thief. Word travels. The poor girl was killed to send a message to other thieves in his circle.”
Absorbing her story, I wonder again if I can trust her with my secret. She has an immense sense of loyalty to Arsen. He’s taken her side on her word alone, and she on his. Would she really protect my secret from him?
But then again, she’s never shown me any indication that she would ever betray me to Arsen.
And at this point, I’m out of choices. If I don’t tell someone about this, my heart might simply explode. “Where can we go where no one else can overhear us?”
The snow falls around us in gentle specks. Lifting my hand, I try to catch a few. Most of the flakes dodge my hand. The ones that land bring a brief, sharp chill before melting into nothingness.
“I think it’ll stick this time,” Ulyana notes.
Brushing the flakes from my hair, I drag my foot through the grass, making little tracks of green before the white covers them again. Maybe I can make a snowman later. I can’t remember the last time I did that.
Ruslan could be making one right now. Mom might even be helping him do it.
Ulyana’s breath is visible in the cold. “Galina … what is this terrible secret you’re keeping from Arsen?”
I flinch. This is it; time to come clean. I hope I’m doing the right thing. “Yevgeniy has another child. A boy of ten.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “His name is Ruslan, and he’s my brother.”
“Another child?” she whispers, aghast.
I nod my head over and over. “My mother didn’t even know he was alive. We found out when Yevgeniy took us. He’s been carting Ruslan back and forth between different locations, so the poor kid has never known peace. He’s always convinced that some dark monster is hunting him from the shadows.”
“A monster?” she echoes, shoulders dropping. “You mean Arsen.”
“Yes. He thinks Arsen will kill him—and maybe he might! Even if it’s by accident while he hunts down Yevgeniy!” Words rattle endlessly off my tongue. Now that I’ve begun, I can’t stop. “But even if he doesn’t, even if Arsen kills Yevgeniy without hurting anyone else in the process … Nothing will stop Ruslan from becoming someone desperate for vengeance. Someone like Arsen.”
The snow around us muffles every sound, absorbing my voice like I’m in a white box. I breathe in, gasping, the chill hurting my lungs.
“And if that happens—if Ruslan comes after Arsen—then the cycle will never end.” I swipe my palms protectively over my belly, clearing snowflakes away. “And in time, my child will pay for the sins of his or her father.”
