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“He showed up yesterday and today we went out for lunch, and talked over some details.”
“I don’t care about boring details, Salva. A man came here for a vacation and found out he has a child with his long-lost mistress. How did that go down?”
“How do you think it went? He was crazy mad but then we talked it over and he’s ok with it.”
“He’s ok with it?”
I didn’t know how else to put it. He was just mine to understand.
“Roman is not just any man, Fran. He’s not some crazy mistake from my teenage years that got me pregnant. I mean, we never planned for Romina to happen, but I wasn’t just fooling around with some boy. We were living together. We wanted to get married…” I lost my trail of thought because of the sudden flood of memories. We were happy. For a short, secluded time, we were so happy.
Tears gathered in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I wasn’t entitled to cry for something I turned down.
“Honey, then why? Why run all the way to Portofino?”
Because I was told if I don’t, I’d end up just like mom and Phil. Of course, I couldn’t tell her that. That was the first rule, right? Never talk about it.
“I woke up one day and realized I had no idea who he was.”
“Did you ask him, Salva?”
“No. I packed all my things and left when he was in class.” Saying it out loud hurt me. I didn’t leave Roman because I was a stone-cold bitch, I did it out of fear. And anger. So much fucking anger. He knew my monsters and chose to make me fall in love with him even though he was one of them. How could you do that to someone you love?
“I think I’m more confused now than when I didn’t know anything about him. You loved this man.”
I do.
“I did.”
“Then why…you know what. It doesn’t even matter. Forgive and forget, right? How is he with having a child?”
“He’s…excited. I always knew Roman would be the best father to his kids. He loves to spoil. He wants to get close to her, to get to know her, to make her wishes come true. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at her – there is so much pride on his face. He is so taken by her, when Romina is around, he doesn’t think about the five years I robbed from him, he’s just looking for the future.”
“Why, Salva, but that’s great!” She came to me and grabbed my shoulders. “Honey, this is like…he came here to answer your prayers, right. You’ve been terrified of what would happen when…umm…I mean if something happens.” ‘When’ was just right. “He could…”
Make sure Remy is fine. He could take care of her.
“Yeah.” She was smiling from ear to ear, but I was almost kneeled by grief.
Francesca was not wrong. Roman came at the right time to take care of our baby girl. I needed to tell her the truth. I needed to prepare her and make sure she was alright.
“Oh, honey, it will be alright. You know Pierre’s mother is working in that fancy hospital, maybe I could talk to her…”
“No, there is no need, Fran. You’re right. I need to go talk to Roman.”
“Yeah, I think that’s wise.”
“Can you keep an eye on Remy and put her back to sleep if she sleepwalks again?”
“What? You’re going now?”
I cheated him of five years. He didn’t have much more to spare.
“Yeah, he’s staying in Aida’s house.”
“Ha, she’s going to be all up in his ass. Wait, the whole house?” I nodded. “Damn, daddy has some money. I’m waiting for you to give me a reason, but the more I listen, the more I think you’re just a stupid fucking idiot.”
I wasn’t going to argue with her about that. It was not Francesca’s fight.
“Can you keep an eye on Remy? I’ll be back to make the kids breakfast.”
“Sure, go. I’ll manage here.”
She didn’t need to tell me twice. I was out the door, before she could change her mind. My strides were charged with purpose and my heart was beating like a maniac inside my rib cage.
I was doing this for my daughter. I had to fix things for her before it was too late.
Also, for me. Maybe I was doing this a little bit for me.
