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“Listen to me, Mr. Stefani. We will do everything humanly possible, but I’m not God. If the course of treatment fails and a match doesn’t show up, you’d want your daughter to spend as much time with her mother as possible.”
At that moment I wanted to grab him by the throat and slam him into a wall.
“Don’t tell me to get ready for the worst.”
“I’m not. This is a hard time for your wife, and she needs a support system. Friends, family, you, and the child should visit her and be with her to make this easier.”
I shook his hand and went to make some phone calls before going back to visit Salvatrice. I had to call Muse and Gino, tell them what happened. I called Simona to ask her to keep Romina for one more day – I needed a moment to wrap my head around the situation before throwing the kid in the middle of it. I called Hugo too, and in an hour the hospital was filled to the brim with A-list mobsters. Brothers, cousins, friends; they came here to help my woman.
~~~
There were no changes for four fucking days. Salva was so drowsy from the meds she started sleeping up to sixteen hours a day and only got out of bed to go to the bathroom. Her coughing stopped, but Dr. Sullivan made it pretty fucking clear that it didn’t mean anything. She wasn’t getting better.
I had nothing to do but sit there and wait. I put phone calls in with everyone on the Nucci family payroll, from doctors to politicians to businessmen, asking them to find a way to help me. I made it clear to everyone that nothing was off the table.
Every time Salvatrice opened her eyes, I was there, right by her bedside. Sometimes Romina was with me, and everyone in the famiglia came to visit every day, but most of the time they were here just to bring me changes of clothes and things I needed from the house, because I wouldn’t let them disturb her. The girls – Cat, Muse, and Lola, didn’t give a shit when I told them Salva needed rest and came into her room to see her anyway. I loved how much my family loved her and I wasn’t ready to lose that.
Every day Salvatrice put a smile on her face, trying to make me feel better, and I did the same for her, but I was dying inside along with her. Something had to come up and save both of us. Six years ago, I’d lost her, but I’d had the peace of mind that she was somewhere out there. Six years ago, I’d lost her and now I was losing her all over again. Slowly and painfully.
I was reading the New Yorker when she started moving in the sheets and opened her eyes.
“Good morning, amore.”
“Good morning. Roman, you need to go home for the night. Romina will believe we forgot about her.”
We told her that her mama had a little cold in her chest and she understood perfectly that this is where I was supposed to be. In fact, she’s been staying with Catherinelle and Hugo and they’ve assured me she was the perfect little guest.
“She will come here to visit us this afternoon. Cat said she wanted to bake you something, but it turned into a disaster so they’ll bring scones from a café. I guess she didn’t inherit your talent.”
“Yeah, she has no sense of the kitchen, but she loves it. Hey, you told Catherinelle to not let her close to pineapple, right?”
“I did, baby. Twice. Do you want me to get you something to eat, or tea?” She had to cut caffeine because it interacted with one of the meds she was on.
“No, I’m fine. I want you to go home and not sleep in a chair. Your back must be killing you. I’ll be fine for a couple of hours.”
But what if you aren’t? I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to hear the answer.
“I’m fine right here, so you can drop it.” I dragged the chair closer to the edge of her bed and leaned down to kiss her. “I love you.”
“I love you too…” I could hear the rest coming before she even said it. “That's why I never wanted to put you through this, Roman. It’s not fair to you.”
“Stop it right now, woman. Could you just accept my I love you once without taking the guilt trip? I love you.”
“Ok.” She took a deep breath and then took my hand into hers. “I want you to do something for me.”
“Anything.”
“You won’t like it and you’ll tell me to shut up.”
“Damn it, Salvatrice, I’m not leaving you alone in the hospital to go home and sleep.”
“No, no. Not that. I want you…I want you to call a priest. Here. I want to marry you.”
My plexus cracked and whoever looked at me right now could see my exposed heart. It was bleeding, but swollen with the love I carried for this woman.
“Salvatrice.”
“See, I told you. I want this, Roman. I’m keeping a positive attitude, I promise, but whatever happens, I want to be married to you. Now. That is, of course, if you want it too.” She knew exactly how to play me to bend me to her will. If I wanted to? It was the only purpose I had on this planet.
