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"I hurt you. You gave me consent, trust, and love–I abandoned you."
"No you didn't."
"Le–"
"Didn't you once say that I have no control over someone's actions but I have control over my emotions?"
He nodded.
"Your actions in no way shape or form have never neglected nor hurt me in a negative manner." Lexi raked her fingers through his hair and he sighed.
"I want to–"
"I don't want you to worry about anything." Lexi brushed his hair away from his eyes, running her thumb over his jaw she leaned in and kissed him softly. “Come on baby, let's take care of you.”
“Sweat pea, I’m fine. I promise.”
“No.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Sit your butt down and let me.”
“Let you what?”
She cupped his face. “Let me care for you as you do me every time I need it.” She kissed his forehead. “It would please me to care for you, Sir.”
He sighed, closing his eyes and resting his cheek on her stomach.
Lexi’s arms ran over his shoulders and down his back, rubbing slow circles until the muscles relaxed from their tense state.
She hummed softly, her hands grabbed at his shirt when Noah tightened his grip on her, lifting her from her feet and heading toward the bedroom. He sat on the bed, bringing her with him and they laid side by side in the dimly lit room. All the while being careful of her healing markings.
“I hurt you…I’m no better than–”
“Absolutely not.”
“I understand if you hate me.”
“Did I ever give that impression?”
“No,” he sighed heavily, filled with self loathing. “Have I told you lately that I love you…”
“Way after forever, my love.”
Her words struck home. “I never knew you heard me…”
Lexi ran her hand along his jaw, brushing at the day-old stubble. “How could I not?” Her smile was warm and loving.
“When I’m at my darkest, you’re always there, sweet pea.”
“Because you’re always with me in mine.” Those words settled warmly inside his chest and she sighed, leaning against him.
The silence stretched, a nudging feeling crept between them, and Noah was the first to break the silence.
“Why didn't you say yes?”
The inability to dodge or lie to him at this moment wasn’t lost on her. Lexi finally whispered a truth. “Because anything I have ever believed in and really loved has been ripped from my life. I cannot. I refuse to add you to the list.”
