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“I wish him misery and pain!” The ache in her chest grew, wrapping its claw-like fingers around her neck and stealing her very breath. “He took–”
“LEXI! Look around, he’s still taking !”
Lexi snapped her head, locking eyes with her friend.
“You are holding on and it’s sinking you !”
The words hit her like a bucket of ice water, she heaved, her fingers reaching into Mia’s hold to grab her friend's forearms. Lexi looked down, taking slow gulps of air.
She strained to keep her breathing even, her jaw shaking with the strain.
“I can tell you what the papers said, but would it change anything? Would it change the fact that you're a business owner? Fierce animal lover, friend, unbiological sister, or Auntie extraordinaire? Would knowing if his life is miserable change anything? Or if you knew he was happy, living life with a family makes you feel uneasy?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered hoarsly. “I don’t know why–”
“Yes you do.” Mia brushed her hair from Lexi’s face. “You thought you were looking for justice, when you needed closure.”
“Part of me was hoping the PI wouldn’t find anything. That he’d be nonexistent.”
“It would make the world a better place,” Mia agreed, taking the clean towel from Nolan and began the slow task of cleaning Lexi’s face of the dust and tears the smash room produced.
Lexi sniffled, staring toward the wall she’d oblitereated with her anger and sadness,
“I don't get it. Is Jared really the reason you won’t marry Noah? You let him tattoo you, scar you permanently but you can't say yes to a peice of paper that means something to him.”
“Because he deserves more than someone who’s nothing more than broken goods. I see how he is with Zander and Penny. If we don’t get married then he’s free to leave–”
“Thinking your giving him an out sounds like you’re always thinking he’s going to leave. That you don’t trust him.”
“I–” Lexi didn’t like it when she put it that way. “I trust him, more than I could ever put into words.”
“You know, none of it is your fault. Nothing that happened that night was your fault. Moving forward and living a life isn’t what anyone would want. I don’t, you wouldn’t want that for me.”
“That was mean,” Lexi huffed, wiping her face with her forearm. “But you’re right.”
“You know he came to me?”
“What?”
“In his own words, he wanted to know if he was worthy. He promised not to run.”
“I don’t want to run anymore, Mia. I really don’t.”
“Then I think it’s time to get your head out of your ass and fix this.”
“He comes home in two days.”
Ten
Lexi stood at the balcony in Surrender overlooking the social area, she scanned the crowd for the one person she wanted to see.
Noah was coming home this weekend and she was keenly aware she hadn’t spoken or heard from him in over a week. They’d never gone this long without speaking. She’d left him a text earlier that morning telling him to meet her at the club tonight and that she wanted to talk.
The urge to text him nudged the back of her mind, but her stubbornness prevailed and her resistance was solidly in place.
She wasn’t going to force something that wasn’t there. Especially if it was nobodies fault but her own.
“There you are.” Mia joined her, offering her a glass of champaign. Nolan was allowing her to indulge tonight since both kids were at her moms.
