Aiden’s hand reaches out, and he takes my wrist in his hold.
The rough pads of his fingers draw a circle over my scar. “What’s that from, Cass?”
I try to pull my wrist away, but he won’t let me. “It’s nothing.”
Aiden shakes his head. “It’s not nothing. That wasn’t there when I was with you at the trailer park.”
I rack my brain for something to say, something close to the truth. “I fell,” I finally say. Not a lie. But also, not the whole truth.
“Bullshit. This isn’t a simple cut. This is a deep one. Deep enough to leave a scar.”
“I said it’s nothing.” I turn away, pulling my arm from his hold, not wanting him to see through me. To expose my secret. That’s the one thing I don’t want him to know. Ever.
“Come on. Pip. Talk to me.”
My head snaps toward him, and for a reason I can’t quite place, I crack.
“Oh, now I’m Pip? This whole time, I’ve been Cass. But now what…” I cross my arms over my chest. I stand, pacing the floor.
I know I’m lashing out, but I can’t stop myself. “Everyone has secrets. Even you,” I accuse, and his head jerks back.
“So something did happen,” he says through his teeth.
“That’s not what I said.”
But it is.
This is my secret.
A secret I’ll carry to my grave.
My heart rate picks up, and suddenly, I feel like I can’t breathe.
I’m careening headfirst into a panic attack, and I need to stop it.
I can’t let him see me like this.
If I do, he’ll realize there’s more to this scar than I’m letting on. He’s already onto me.
My own guilt and shame threaten to suffocate me.
Something I can see: My hands, as they twist the cotton of my shirt.
Something I can hear: The soft hum of the dishwasher running in the other room.
Something I can smell: Aiden’s woodsy cologne; it makes my mouth water.
When my pulse slows, I take a deep breath and take a seat, looking up at him. Concern lines his face. I move closer. So close that I’m practically on his lap.
“I just don’t want to go back there,” I admit with a sigh.
His eyes are narrowed in on me. “Let me share your burden.”
My head shakes. “I’m not ready.” I’ll never be ready, but I don’t tell him that.
He takes a deep breath and nods. “Promise you’ll tell me one day.”
I don’t want to lie to him, but it’s my only chance to turn this night around. To get us back to the easygoing night I had planned.