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24
RUKH
There was a time when I used to wonder how humans lived, but as I bring myself awake from the bed that nearly crumbles under my weight, looking out the dim window, I’m beginning to understand it.
Here in this little box, I’m contained, sheltered away from the elements unlike the enclosures of a cavern or a burrow. It’s easy to pretend, as I live in this small space, that the world outside has stopped. The pitter patter of a gentle rain on the roof is beyond my concern, because the roof keeps the water out.
It feels safe even for me, a creature who has very little to fear.
“Well, there is one thing I’m afraid of, and it’s come true,” I mutter to myself.
I can still smell Annette in here. It’s in the small bits of clothing she left for me, but beyond that, her smell is permanently etched into my mind. I try to forget the smell, but it won’t leave me, no matter how many ways I try.
I step outside, open my door to the foggy forest, and have a whiff. Even from afar, I can still breathe her in.
It’s good to know that she’s safe, though she hasn’t returned to Mellara yet. I don’t understand why not.
I think back on her smile and the way her eyes lit up, bringing light to my soul, and I feel something painful. It’s something I can’t explain, but I know that I want to end the feeling however I can.
“She’s better off without me,” I mutter, walking over to the oven and opening the door.
She showed me how to use one of these in one of the houses we reaped in. I think it’s a fascinating concept, having a fire in this small wooden home to heat up food.
“I like it better raw though,” I admit quietly before questioning myself.
In my head, I try to remember life before the world of conveniences Annette showed me, and I ponder whether I was better off before knowing about them. I remember the stringy texture of raw meat and question whether it’s better burnt and seasoned.
Life before was certainly simpler.
I ran.
I killed.
And I ate.
But is there more beauty in that? Was I happier before I met Annette? My gut says yes, because I had no idea who Annette was and didn’t know I was missing anything.
My mind turns back to when I first emerged from the ground this time, and the multiple types of hunger I experienced.
There was the need to sustain my physical form, eating the wildlife that moved about the forests. My stomach grumbles, and I realize how long it’s been since I’ve eaten. My body still strains from yesterday’s combat.
There was a primal need to devour shadows, consuming the darkness from corrupted souls. I can still see all the souls around me that need purging. No matter how I help Annette, my work will seemingly never be finished.
Why was I woken up? Am I doomed to toil away at the neighboring area, purging elves forever? The corruption only seems to grow the more dark elves I kill.
And then there was something else. Something perhaps less articulable.
I felt it strongly when I was roaming alone, prowling for my next meal, but I think Annette satisfied that hunger. I don’t remember feeling it in her company, even if I still don’t know what it is.
There’s something so basic and primal about it. So why is it so difficult to understand?
I move back outside my door, looking out at the large world beyond me.
It’s a nice home, really, and I’ll enjoy staying here. But aside from Annette not being here, there’s something slightly off-putting about it that I can’t explain. Perhaps it’s the origin of the cabin, as a dwelling for a witch that evaded my notice, but I feel unsettled here.
Annette brought the word ‘creepy’ into my vocabulary, and that seems accurate for this situation. The trinkets that hang upon the walls and on the shelves are all unknowable to me. Annette claimed they weren’t dangerous to me, but they still make me nervous.
In the hope of distracting my mind from this feeling of loss, I rush through the trees and among the brambles, just like old times. I sniff the air, hoping to find my next kill. I can sense what nearby creatures are doing, where they’re located, and even what they’re feeling.
