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I want you to know that I love you, Florian.
Nothing will ever change that.
P.S. What’s your opinion on unrequited love? It’s a random question, but we had this whole debate with a friend about it, and I wondered if you believed in it or considered it stupid.
Loving someone who can never love you back? Is it pathetic? Sad? Pitiful?
And…
Is there any point to it, and does it have a cure?
You’re way older than me, so maybe you have a wiser answer for me than my friends.
From Florian’s emails to Jimena…
Our brotherhood was created on blood and secrets because the darkness residing within us needed an outlet for our rage.
Certain emotions and desires cannot be contained for long. Otherwise, they will consume you. Is there anything worse than being ruled by your vices?
The interesting thing about evil is that it always has to have a reason, right?
Something must have happened to the person to become a monster because why else would he or she do hideous things?
What if I told you some people don’t need a reason to hurt someone? They just find complete absolution while doing so, and it feeds them, giving them the biggest high in the world?
How would it make you feel, princess?
Scared? Disgusted? Panicked because you grew up with such a man?
Accepting the evilness of others and thinking they’re doing the right thing are two different things.
The reason you find justification for these actions…deep down, you have a darkness inside you too, princess.
The anger and hate you feel toward the man who kidnapped and hurt Santiago and ruined your childhood.
To you, they deserve death, and you feel a sense of relief from that. I know you well enough to make such a statement. No sane person would have written this email to me or reacted this nonchalantly to the truth.
They say serial killers kill their abusers over and over again, trying to outrun their memories and the voices in their heads that urge them to do bad things.
You don’t justify our actions because you love us.
You justify our actions because it cures the little girl living inside you who wishes to punish all these men who took away what was supposed to be yours.
The human psyche is a complicated thing to explore, but oh-so fascinating, isn’t it?
What happened to me?
Isn’t that the million-dollar question?
Don’t bother seeking answers on my behalf.
It doesn’t matter what.
The only thing that matters is the consequences of my actions.
But I promise you.
I will never hurt you and always protect you because you’re part of my family.
