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“I love coming home to you,” I said once she’d pulled back to lean her head against my shoulder, her body spent and limp around mine.
She was quiet, almost unnervingly so, but I knew she was tired, knew how much her attempt at edging me had to take out of her. So I got up, gently laying her on the bed and tucking her back against my chest, content to hold her as she fell asleep. My own body was heading toward exhaustion after the way she’d played me.
I’d told her the truth about how I felt, whether she acknowledged it or not. She may be upset that I said it during sex, but I’d tell her in the morning too.
I’d tell her every day for the rest of forever.
Because there was for sure no going back now.
CHAPTER 18
Serenity
The funny thing about being surrounded by guards your entire life was that you automatically noted the weak spots. It was a skill I worked to acquire, but it felt like it was naturally ingrained in me. Which made it all the easier to know exactly where to go, exactly where to exit Gareth’s house in order to not be caught.
Easy might not be the right word. Especially as I stood next to the bed, taking one last glance at Gareth, who slept soundly after what we’d just done.
I'm not as strong as you.
I’d said those words to him several times, hours ago, and meant them. If I were as strong as him, I would have told him to his face that I was leaving instead of writing it down on a piece of paper like the coward I was.
I didn't trust myself enough to not immediately crumble under his no doubt questioning stare if I’d told him to his face. He would give me that look of his, the one that had the ability to see straight through to the heart of me, and I would break. I would tell him the truth. I would tell him exactly what my father was doing and it would start a war where he could be killed or imprisoned, neither of which I could survive.
No, I most certainly wasn't as strong as him, but I was damn well trying to be. He’d saved my life in every way that mattered.
Now it was my turn.
I just hoped that after he read my letter that he’d be able to read through the lines, and forgive me when I finished doing what I needed to do.
“I love you,” I whispered, hoping above all hope that he knew that without a doubt, and wouldn't condemn me for leaving.
As quietly as I could be, I grabbed my bag and slipped out of the bedroom door, carefully tiptoeing around where I knew the guards would be, and then making my way out of one of the many back patio doors that led out to Gareth’s large property.
Once I cleared the lush grass, it was almost too easy to slip through the gates and head down two blocks to where my Lyft was waiting for me. A stranger in a car driving me to the airport so I could fly back to my previous prison.
After an uneventful flight, my blood ran cold as my Lyft driver pulled up to my father's house, certainly the place of my ruin.
He's worth it.
Gareth was worth everything.
I repeated the mantra as I walked up the long drive. The gates opened for me automatically, and my father was waiting at the front door.
He looked worse than he ever had before, his beard unkempt, purple beneath his eyes, and just a hint of desperation in them. He folded his arms over his chest, his face scrunching up like he'd bit into a lemon as he looked me over.
“You're late,” he chided.
“We sat on the tarmac for an hour after landing,” I said, surprised at the strength in my voice even though my entire being was trembling, cowering. It took me living an entirely different life to see just how badly he’d treated me my entire life, and now that couldn't be undone. I would always see him for what he was, but that didn't change the way my body reacted in his presence. My self-preservation instincts begged me to submit, to withhold the snarky comments, to not lash out at him and rage and provoke him.
I sucked in a deep breath, assuring myself I had a role to play. One that would make or break Gareth. And for him, I could do anything, be anything.
“You'll find your room is as you left it,” he said, still blocking the entryway to the house. “It's late. I trust you remember your nighttime requirements?”
My blood curdled, and it was all I could do to smooth my features into an indifferent mask. “I do.”
“Good. Do them. I'll see you at breakfast after you've done your exercises.”
I dipped my head the way I knew he liked, and he stepped out of my way, letting me into the house.
