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I breathed deeply, doing my best to pull myself together. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, but the unknown was almost as terrifying as facing my father's wrath.
“Do you hear me?” Gareth asked when I hadn't responded. “No one is going to hurt you.”
I nodded and tried to convey my thanks with a silent look, but I wasn't really sure if it was coming across as anything more than a grimace. My emotions were all over the place. I did my best to focus on the present, to ground myself in what I had control of now.
Which wasn't much.
“May I take a shower?”
Gareth seemed taken aback by the question. “Of course,” he said, offering his hand and helping me to my feet.
He looked like he was prepared to walk me all the way into the shower if he needed to, but I stepped away from his touch, waving him off.
“I'm fine now,” I said.
He gave me a nod, and I carried myself the rest of the way, turning the hot water on before taking off the ridiculous nightgown I’d put on last night, hoping to seduce Gareth Maxfield.
As I stepped under the hot water, it almost seemed comical to me. The idea of me showing up in something silky and modest and hoping that the big, bad, tattooed mobster would fall to his knees for me.
An image of him on his knees before me as he offered me the solution to my problem burned in my mind.
I wondered what would have happened if things had gone differently? If we’d had sex and ruined all the selling power my father had?
With a night to sleep on it, Gareth had been right.
It would’ve made me unsellable, but my father would have hurt me over it. Possibly killed me.
What Gareth did, marrying me, had saved my life. Probably in more ways than he even realized. And even if it was just because of the favor chip, it still meant something to me.
After my shower, I forced myself to get ready slowly, focusing on each movement, each task, to keep from crumbling.
I pulled on a pair of sweats and an oversized T-shirt that I found among Gareth's things. I hadn’t thought to bring a bag last night, reacting solely on instinct after the fight with my father. I was nowhere reckless enough to try and go back to get my clothes now.
I dried my hair, counting each brush stroke, the mundane actions helping stave off some of the anxiety that threatened to close my airways. I had no makeup to speak of, but while an immaculate, put-together appearance was always nonnegotiable for my father, it was the least of my concerns today.
Gareth was already married to me, and I was quite certain he had no interest in me intimately, so who cared if he saw me without a scrap of mascara or blush?
I looked in the mirror, not quite recognizing myself. I was practically swimming in Gareth’s clothes, but the scent of his skin clinging to them was a comforting thing I couldn't really explain. My hair had no product in it, and my face had no foundation or eyeshadow.
I was just me. I was the me I could only be for a few minutes in between showering and getting ready on a regular day.
But today wasn't a regular day.
Today was the start of an entirely new chapter in my life, and for better or for worse, I had to embrace that.
I walked out of the bedroom where the bathroom had been, my stomach rumbling as the smell of breakfast hit me.
Brooks and Gareth were setting silver platters on the dining table in the suite, taking off their lids to reveal pancakes and pastries, platters of fruit and cheese, whole grain toast and avocado, and eggs and bacon and sausage.
Brooks flashed me a smile that was both somehow sharp and inviting. “I didn't know what you liked, so I got a little of everything.”
“Thank you,” I said, lingering by an empty chair at the table.
It wasn't until Gareth and Brooks took their seats that my muscles unlocked and allowed me to sit, too. I felt Gareth’s eyes on me, but did my best not to acknowledge his curious stare.
Brooks quickly filled his plate, and then Gareth did his, all the while casting me sideways glances. Once they’d finished grabbing what they wanted, I finally reached for a plate of my own. I reached for the scoop buried underneath the fresh fruit and piled a small portion on my plate.
I brought it back and took a quick bite of melon.
