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My whole life was chaotic. From birth until the day I’d turned eighteen and shipped out to basic, it was a nightmare. In the Army, I trained until I’d all but forgotten who I’d been before. Nothing mattered but the next mission. I’d been to war. I’d fought, killed, and nearly died, not for patriotism or honor, but because I thought it was the only way to avoid the future written in stone for me.
It wasn’t enough. I’d still ended up back in Seattle, back in the place that threatened to snuff out what little light I had left in me. If I could’ve burned it down and salted the ashes, I would have. The only good in the entire fucking cesspool of a city was Mari, and I couldn’t even have her. Wouldn’t even let myself think about her. Except when she was gone fighting a battle I couldn’t join her in, then she was all I saw.
“This is bullshit,” I muttered to myself.
Stepping into the gym, I was reminded all over again of the conversation I’d overheard.
Last night, I’d thought I’d understood Dominic’s hesitance. Mari wasn’t just his friend; she was his boss. That was a dynamic that could go very wrong. But it wasn’t the power structure that bothered him. It was the woman he couldn’t contend with, and that I couldn’t accept.
Had he really thought that she could rule not just their family but the entire city and remain clean? The only way to survive in the world was to get your hands dirty.
But Mari was different from other dons. She killed because she had to, because there was direct danger to her people or her city. She didn’t do it indiscriminately, and she always weighed the cost of the people she could lose in the crossfire.
She wasn’t a monster. I hadn’t been around for long, but even I knew that much.
Yet Dominic, someone who’d known her for years, couldn’t see it. So what if she had power? It didn’t matter nearly as much as how she used it, and Mari always used her position with honor. The first thing I’d done after our initial meeting was check.
No one I’d talked to had anything but good things to say about her. She was ruthless and fierce, but also fair. She would fight to the death if it meant doing the right thing, despite her family not having her back all the time. She wanted to better the city for those left behind when she was gone.
From the moment I’d seen her in her car, I’d thought I knew who she was. The Marcosa Queen, the big boss of Seattle. I thought she was reckless with lives and bloodthirsty to boot, and maybe she was to an extent, but not at the expense of her people or her city. They mattered to her. Taking care of them was her top priority over money, and it had only taken me a single conversation to learn that.
It was part of the reason I was still so on the fence with her. I knew who she was, but she didn’t know me at all, and once she did, there was almost no chance for us.
I had to decide whether I wanted to take that risk or not.
Taping my hands quickly, I let myself work out the worry for her in every punch, counting the minutes until they returned.
* * *
Even dripping with sweat and nearly tipping over with exhaustion, I felt it the moment they got back. Could’ve been the sound of the garage door or their cars in the drive that had me ripping off my gloves and sprinting through the halls. I’d barely skidded to a stop in the foyer when the door opened, and there she was. Blood on her temple, one cheek swollen with the imprint of some asshole’s fist, and a hand cradling her stomach and ribs, but alive.
“Mari.” I barely felt the world leave my mouth before she ran for me. Well, hobbled. Even so, I didn’t hesitate to wrap her in my arms, careful not to hurt her worse. She reeked of gunpowder and blood, and I didn’t care because she was in front of me.
“You’re back.”
“You’re okay.”
We spoke at the same time, relief drenching our words. While I was curious what she’d been worried about, I didn’t ask. Didn’t care. I just wanted to keep holding her as long as she’d let me.
All too soon, throats cleared behind us, and Mari stepped back, a beautiful flush to the crest of her cheeks. I didn’t know kingpins got embarrassed.
Giving her a chance to breathe, I turned to look at the others and winced. They looked rougher than she did. Dominic had a huge gash on his cheekbone and a fat lip, while Greyson’s eye and knuckles were red and swollen.
“I take it things didn’t go well.”
Dominic snorted a harsh laugh. “You could say that.”
Dominic and Grey shifted on their feet, and I realized they didn’t know how much to tell me. I wasn’t a Marcosa. I hadn’t pledged my undying loyalty to the family, so I was still an outsider. In the end, Mari answered. “Cash knew we were coming, which we expected. We didn’t expect him to bomb the place after we were gone.”
“Any casualties?” I asked.
“One on our side from a bomb at the docks,” Grey said. “The Aces are down at least a dozen men, though.”
Small mercies, then.
Mari clenched her fingers over her stomach, and I saw the sweat on her brow. She was in pain. “You’re hurt.”
“I need to sit for a bit, yeah. Come with me?” I was floored she asked, until she added, “We need to talk anyway.”
