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“Dammit,” I said. “That did not go how I planned.”
He laughed as he started to wrap the sling around my waist. “I did warn you before, you know,” he said, dramatically, mimicking Misha. “It’s not fair that you only share the good parts with me. Now I can hold you to that.” He looked extra proud of himself at being able to get around my weak defense system.
For just a moment, my pain subsided and the warmth that I normally feel when thinking about him spread through my body. He felt it too, looking at me somewhat surprised as he strapped my arm back into the sling. “I didn’t realize how much I would miss that feeling,” he said as he stepped closer to me. He put both hands gently on either side of my face and leaned down to kiss me. Where he had been extra gentle in the hospital, like he was afraid to hurt me, he let himself go slightly. The kiss started gentle, but he sucked my bottom lip in between his, his teeth grazing my lip. The pain in my body retreated once again and I could feel nothing but him. The warm sensation traveling over my entire body was met with the pull in my chest toward him as he deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring my mouth gently. I held onto his arm that was still holding my face like he was worried I would break, moaning softly. It felt amazing to have a pain-free moment.
When he stopped the kiss, I kept my eyes closed. The pain was still gone. I was worried that if I opened my eyes, it would come crashing back. I heard him laugh quietly. “Are you okay, solnishko?”
I finally opened my eyes slowly. “You took all the pain away just now. How did you do that?” I asked quietly.
“It worked?” he asked, surprised.
“Yeah, it’s coming back slowly, but not as fast as I thought it would. What did you do?”
“I remembered when you were hurt after the ball, you told me that when we had sex it made your pain go away. I don’t think you’re in any shape for that much right now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t think about it,” he said, his devilish grin on his face.
“Devious. I like it. I’ll allow it,” I said, smiling widely at him. He had moved to pick up my leggings and stopped when he saw my smile.
“I should do that more. Your light just got brighter again,” he said.
“Yes, please.”
Chapter Ninety-Six
Adrik
As soon as I took Sephie’s arm out of the sling, I felt the shooting pain in my left shoulder that she felt when her arm was no longer supported. It shot all the way down to my hip again, just like it did in the hospital. I could tell she was trying to hide it, as she didn’t make a sound, but I could feel it just as strongly as I’d ever felt anything from her. She held onto her left arm with her right the entire shower, trying to give her shoulder some relief. I tried to be quick in the shower, but her long hair made that difficult.
After the shower, I helped her with her bra and panties, her pain level still at an inhuman level. She hadn’t realized yet that I could feel it. The more she tried to hide it from me, the more I could feel it. It was almost a game to me now. She saw me smirking at her, asking what I wasn’t telling her.
“The more you try to hold everything in, the easier it is for me to feel it. I know you’re trying to avoid pushing your pain on to me, but the more you fight letting it go, the easier it is for me to feel. I know how excruciating that shower was for you just now,” I said. Her eyes went wide as she realized that her feeble attempt to block me had failed. That was a new one for me. She’d been able to hide her pain both times she’d been seriously hurt before. I was still a little angry with her over it. No matter how many times I told her that I wanted her to come to me, her default was still to try and hide it and take care of herself, rather than feeling like she was burdening me with anything more. Now she couldn’t hide and I, for one, was very happy about it.
“Dammit,” she said. “That did not go how I planned.”
I just laughed at her as I started to wrap the sling around her waist. “I did warn you before, you know,” I said, trying to mimic Misha’s penchant for the dramatic. “It’s not fair that you only share the good parts with me. Now I can hold you to that.” I looked at her, quite proud of this latest development. I wanted to be able to take care of her and to know what she needed the same way she did for me.
She stood in front of me, still in her bra and panties, still slightly surprised but half-grinning at what I was sure was a goofy grin on my face. I suddenly got hit with the warmth that she felt when she thought about how much she loved me. I didn’t realize how much I’d been missing that feeling. It was so different to the pull that I felt in my chest when I thought about her, but it was so her. She radiated love, especially for me. The warmth that she felt was a physical manifestation of that. When she would push that feeling to me, it wasn’t the feeling of being loved. It wasn’t a knowing that she loved me. It was love. She is love.
“I didn’t realize how much I would miss that feeling,” I said as I took a step toward her. I wanted to pull her to me, but I knew she was still in so much pain that wasn’t a good idea. I could still feel her pain, but it was in the background now. The warmth was the dominant feeling. I wanted to make it last for her. I remembered when we were in Italy that she had told me that anytime we had sex, the pain would subside completely. It didn’t take any effort on my part to think about what I wanted to do to her when she was healed. I took her face in my hands and pressed my lips to hers, thinking about feeling her, about what she made me feel. It was difficult to hold myself back, but I kissed her with more passion than I had at the hospital. I sucked on her bottom lip, which I knew she loved. I felt her reach up with her good arm and hold onto my forearm. It felt like her pain was lessening and her desire was getting stronger, but I wasn’t completely sure it worked. The pain was still there, but it was not as loud. She leaned into me, moaning softly. Before I lost complete control, I stepped back from her. I didn’t want to hurt her. She still had her eyes closed when I looked down at her. She kept them closed for a moment. Longer than I thought she would. “Are you okay, solnishko?” I asked, a little worried that something was wrong.
She slowly opened her eyes, almost like she was afraid to. “You took all the pain away just now. How did you do that?”
“It worked?” I was a little surprised my idea had worked.
“Yeah, it’s coming back slowly, but not as fast as I thought it would. What did you do?”
“I remembered when you were hurt after the ball, you told me that when we had sex it made your pain go away. I don’t think you’re in any shape for that much right now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t think about it,” I said.
She cut her eyes up at me, a small grin on her face that made her look sexy as hell. “Devious. I like it. I’ll allow it,” she said. She gave me her smile that made my heart threaten to stop. I’d definitely missed that.
“I should do that more. Your light just got brighter again,” I said, grabbing her leggings to help her finish getting dressed.
“Yes, please,” she said, walking slowly to the bed so she could sit. Her breathing was still labored, especially when she got tired. She took as deep a breath as she was able to while I helped her with her leggings. “I didn’t know I would miss being able to feel you. I didn’t know it would go away,” she said quietly.
“I don’t think it went away, solnishko. I think it was just drowned out by your pain. I’m still shocked that you’re able to function with the pain levels you’re dealing with right now. I wouldn’t be able to move,” I said.
“Ivan told me that redheads have an insanely high pain tolerance. Apparently, he was right,” she said.
“How does he know that?” I asked, going to the closet to grab another one of my hoodies for her and clothes for me.
