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Ivan’s statement about Sephie’s ring design suddenly made perfect sense. “That’s why…” I caught myself before I said anything further. I didn’t want Sephie to know about that yet. She, of course, caught it.
“That’s why what?” she asked.
I smiled at her. “If I tell you that, it will ruin the surprise,” I said, reaching up and pulling her down to me. I pressed my lips against hers.
She sat up, needing to search my eyes. “You don’t think I’m crazy for saying all this?”
“Not even a little bit. Ivan has spent so much time in Hell, but despite everything, he still has a heart of gold when it comes to the people he loves. It makes sense. And honestly, I couldn’t think of a better protector for you. His inability to feel pain gives him a unique advantage,” I said. She was running her finger lightly over my face and neck as I talked.
She looked surprised. “That’s exactly what my dad said.”
“He’s becoming the secret weapon of my secret weapon.” I smiled at her, happy to see her opening up to me and relaxed about it.
She looked at me seriously. “I don’t think Ivan is the only one among us that’s spent so much time in Hell that he can walk freely between Heaven and Hell. My dad told me I could too and since you’re the one that pulled me out of my nightmare, I’m guessing you can too.”
I sighed. “You’re not wrong. When you were in your nightmare loop and my voice pulled you out of it, did you go to a dark place? Like you couldn’t see anything, almost like you were swimming in darkness?”
Her eyes got wide. “You’ve been there too. That’s how you pulled me there. That’s how I pulled Ivan there.”
I shut my eyes, nodding my head. I felt her fingers lightly running through my facial hair. She leaned down, her lips lightly brushed mine. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I did wonder how you pulled me there, especially after I did it for Ivan and found out he goes to the same place.”
“I was a kid the first time someone tried to get to my father through me. They ran the car we were in off the road. It killed the driver instantly and the bodyguard that was with me had severe injuries. I was small enough that I somehow survived, although I still don’t know how. I heard them walk up to the car to see if there was anyone still alive. I knew enough to play dead. They thought they had succeeded, so they left. They wanted our bodies found, thankfully. I climbed out of the car and ran for help. My father was a cold man, but I distinctly remember him picking me up when he got there. He held me all the way to the hospital. It’s one of the only times I saw him worried. I passed out on the way to the hospital. I remember feeling relief that my father was there and I felt safe, so I let go. It took me three days to wake up. Those three days were the first time I remember the darkness. I was scared at first. I cried. I screamed. I fought. Nothing worked. I finally gave in and got quiet. When I did, I realized I could vaguely see and I could barely hear voices. I was hearing my father’s voice. He never left the hospital room those three days. The man who I barely saw when I was awake wouldn’t leave me when I was out. It was his voice that I followed to find my way out. His face was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. It was one of the few times he told me he loved me and that he was proud of me.” I had opened my eyes when I started to tell the story. I’m glad I did. Sephie’s expression was all I needed to see to keep going. She was always so curious. I loved her interest in anything I wanted to tell her, but I also loved that she didn’t want to pry.
“See, even your father has some good in him. It might not have been very much, but it was there for those three days,” she said, smiling sweetly at me. “And he taught you how to save me, so I’m grateful for that, if nothing else.”
“I never knew it was a skill I would need to use. It never crossed my mind with Ivan. We’ve been in the hospital plenty of times with him and never once did I think about it with him.”
“Because you were never meant to pull Ivan out. You’re not the only one that doesn’t want to share in this lifetime,” she said, grinning at me.
“Sometimes you surprise me, solnishko. You constantly find new ways to make me love you even more,” I said, laughing.
She looked at me, a smile still on her lips, but her eyes were serious. “Thank you. For knowing what I need before I do, for reminding me of what I needed to hear, for trusting me enough to tell me that, and for not thinking I’m crazy. Although that last one might still be up for debate,” she said laughing. She was trying not to worry, but I could tell she was legitimately worried. I held her gaze as long as she needed, letting her search for what she wasn’t going to find. She finally satisfied herself, her wide smile stretching across her face once more.
“I love you, Sephie. Plus infinity. Plus one,” I said, pulling her to me.
“I love you, Adrik,” she said, smiling against my lips.
I woke the next morning with Sephie laying across my chest. I ran my hand through her hair, causing her to snuggle closer to me. I loved her close to me, even more so after our long conversation last night. She never failed to make me feel like I was even more in love with her anytime we had a serious conversation, but last night was even more than usual.
She’s had quite possibly the roughest week since I’ve known her, which is saying quite a lot. Her light was starting to dim again, but not because she was physically hurt this time. After she gave the description of the doctor to the police, I could tell she was struggling to close the door once again on that part of her life. It might’ve been easier had she not had to also deal with the Mike situation and trying to close the door on that part of her life at the same time, on top of dealing with Max unexpectedly showing up.
She was dealing with more than most people would be able to handle and yet she was still concerned about Misha and Andrei. When I finally woke her up out of her nightmare last night, she almost immediately went to Misha to comfort him. I never minded her going to the guys, but my patience was short last night. I knew the forced procedure had affected her, but hearing her scream and plead for it not to happen made it more real. She was devastated. We could all plainly hear the despair in her voice as she pleaded for them not to do it. I wanted to help her, to make her feel better. But not even one minute after she wakes up, she’s consoling him.
That’s who she is and that’s one of many things I love about her, but I do find myself wishing she would be a little more selfish sometimes. Maybe I’m being selfish for wanting that, as her light is brighter after she takes care of herself. I need her light. I need her.
I inhaled deeply, pulling her close to me. She started to stir as I ran my hand lightly over her back. She lifted her head, resting her chin on my chest as she smiled at me. “Good morning,” she said, sleepily. I would never tire of how sexy she looked in the mornings. Her hair was always even more out of control than usual, which gave her a wild look that made it hard to control myself. “Have you been awake long?” she asked, rubbing her eyes.
I pulled her to me and rolled us both over so she was on her back and I was on top of her. “Not long. I could watch you sleep for days anyway,” I said, gently pressing my lips to hers. She smiled at me, reaching for my face. I closed my eyes as she lightly ran her fingers through my short stubble. I remembered something else Ms. Jackson had said to me that night that I had asked her to move here. I smiled thinking back to that conversation.
“What are you thinking about?” Sephie asked. I opened my eyes to find her looking at me, a curious smile on her face.
“The night I went to ask Ms. Jackson if she would move here. I asked her to keep it a secret so I could surprise you. I think she said something like ‘you’re in deep, boy. Hope you know how to swim,’” I said, in my best impression.
Sephie laughed. “That sounds just like her. I think she even said something like that to me when she was trying to convince me you were in love with me.”
I ran my fingers lightly over her face, taking in how she looked this morning. Her light was brighter. She felt better after our long conversation last night. She caught me staring at her and raised an eyebrow, still wondering what was going on in my mind. “Your light is brighter again. You feel better after our talk last night, no?”
She smiled sweetly at me, nodding her head. “I feel lighter again.”
