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“I have no regrets,” I said, resting my chin on his chest so I could look at him. His handsome smile stretched across his face, which made me smile back at him.
“I love you so much, Persephone. I told you that you have my heart, but I think that wasn’t exactly true,” he said. He brushed a stray curl from my face. “You are my heart. For without you, I would cease to exist.”
Chapter Eighty-Five
Sephie
After falling asleep again for a short time, we finally managed to drag ourselves out of bed. I was happy to stay in bed for as long as possible today, but his meetings and my early Christmas present beckoned to us.
Adrik’s schedule was quite full that afternoon, so while Viktor, Ivan, and Misha set about to ruin Giana’s day, I stayed in the penthouse with Andrei while Stephen was in charge of Adrik’s meetings.
“Why are you not in on the pickpocketing party, Bubba?” I asked him as I curled up next to him to keep myself warm. I was on my third cup of coffee of the day. It helped keep me warm as well, but I also needed help staying awake. Turns out having mind-blowing sex first thing in the morning completely zaps all my energy.
He stretched his giant arm around my shoulders, so I could lean against his torso. Since my research confirmed he was, in fact, the warmest of all the guys, he took his heating pad duties very seriously. He would happily offer his body heat anytime I needed it when Adrik wasn’t around. I think he was happy to have something that the other guys didn’t have once again. Adrik was right. Andrei loved being the closest one to me in the beginning. He’s been much happier since he was put on heater duty.
“I’m not good at it. I’m actually quite terrible at it, if I’m being honest,” he said, seriously. I sat up, turning to look at him. He was serious.
“I can’t imagine you being terrible at anything, Bubba,” I said, settling back against him once more.
“No, it’s true. I am. I get nervous and it makes it obvious that I’m trying to steal something every single time. Pickpocketing is an art,” he said.
“Why do you get nervous?”
“I don’t know. I don’t really like touching other people unless I have to.”
I laughed, trying to move away from him. “You should’ve told me this earlier. I didn’t know I’ve been torturing you.”
He laughed, pulling me back against him. “Don’t be stupid, spider monkey. You’re different. If it’s someone I know, it’s fine. You’ve always been fine. I’m not like super weird about it. I just don’t like touching strangers.”
“Whew. Glad I made the cut,” I said, giggling. “I know how you feel though. I’m not a fan of it either. It makes me secretly happy I’ll never be able to get pregnant. Have you seen how many people just randomly touch a pregnant woman’s stomach? It’s disturbing. The body count would be so high…” I said, taking another drink of coffee. His whole body shook with his laughter, which shook mine too. I almost spilled my coffee.
“Sephie…”
“Uh oh. This is serious.”
“Huh?”
“You used my name instead of calling me spider monkey. You guys only use my name when it’s serious. I feel like I’m in trouble. Don’t ever use my full name. I’ll have a panic attack,” I said, laughing.
“Spider Monkey Sephie,” he said. I could hear the smile in voice. “I know that humor is the way you deal with your trauma and I appreciate it. But I want you to know that I’ve never met anyone that I admire as much as you. It actually used to be Ivan, but you took the top spot.”
“It used to be Ivan?” I asked, curious.
I felt him nod his head. “Ivan doesn’t know this, but he was talking in his sleep one time after he got hurt. He didn’t have to go to the hospital, but years ago, even just getting hurt and having to be bandaged would send him back to fight his past. He wasn’t struggling, so the other guys didn’t wake up, but I couldn’t sleep, so I heard everything. It was just like when we were all on the plane and heard you struggling against your uncle and everything he beat into you. I don’t know all the details, obviously, but I know Ivan’s mom sent him away to some facility when he was a kid. And I know he was tortured there. But I also know it made him stronger because he got out. Just like it did for you. You’re both survivors.”
“Ivan told me his story when we were in Italy. You’ve got the basics of it. Why did you never tell him that you know?”
“Ivan’s private. He’s opened up more since you’ve been around. All of us have, really. But he was always so quiet before you. I wasn’t sure if it would make him angry to know that I knew, so I kept it to myself. It’s why his fighting at the hospital never bothered me. It would take all of us to hold him down. Viktor struggles with taking it personally. The other guys do too, just not as much. Adrik doesn’t. I think he knows what happened to Ivan too. But I heard the pain in his voice that night when I heard him talking in his sleep. He’s haunted by it, but he still shows up every single day. If that’s not the definition of courage, I don’t know what is.” He sighed. “You’re the same. You’ve been through so much and you still show up every single day, making sure everyone around you is happy, despite carrying the enormous pain of your past. I don’t know how you do it, honestly, but I admire the hell out of both of you for it,” he said, pulling me back against him and kissing the top of my head.
“Bubba, you’re gonna make me all weepy,” I said, sniffling.
“I just wanted you to know, Sephie,” he said, hugging me tighter to him. We heard the door to the penthouse open and close. I quickly wiped the stray tears from my eyes, looking to see who was coming in. It was Misha, Viktor, and Ivan. Misha and Ivan both had shit-eating grins on their faces. “Oh, this is gonna be good,” I said, unable to contain my excitement.
Viktor had a small kit with him that he set down on the coffee table. “What’s that?” I asked, as I leaned forward to put my now empty coffee cup on the table.
“It’s a drug test kit. It’ll tell us for sure what she’s on,” Viktor said.
“Scientific,” I said, leaning back against Andrei once more.
