AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He patted the sand next to him, and I let him take my hand to help me sit. “About my career. He thinks I’m throwing it away.”
“What do you think?”
“I think I’ve screwed up enough that what he said isn’t that far from the truth.” Tommy stared off toward the ocean, lost in thought.
“You’re one of the highest-paid players in the league. How could your career be done?”
“You heard Monica. The Cougars are my last chance.” He didn’t have to say it, but I could read between the lines that I was the reason his last chance was at risk right now.
“Then we’ll sell this relationship so hard, every woman will fall in love with you and nobody will think you’re a ladies’ man. They’ll just think you’re one lady’s man.”
“I’m not really sure that’s how this is supposed to work . . .” Tommy raised a brow at me skeptically.
“Don’t worry, Mikals. You’re in the right hands.” I knocked my knees into his as I gave him a cheeky smile. “But seriously, Tommy. You haven’t screwed anything up. You’re still doing what you dreamed of as a little kid. When that’s taken away from you, come talk to me.”
I could feel Tommy’s eyes on my face, studying me again. “Where’d you learn to do that?”
“Do what?” I asked.
“Be so optimistic.”
The waves filled the silence that stretched out between us as I thought about what he said. I knew exactly where my optimism had come from. Four years ago, I had learned quite intimately what people meant when they said not to take something for granted. In the blink of an eye, the thing you never thought could happen does, and your life is forever changed. I knew I wasn’t ready to tell him where exactly I had learned it, so instead I returned the focus on Tommy.
“No matter what happens, Tommy,” I finally replied, “you are more than the player.”
Tommy stared out at the waves as he thought about what I had said before he spoke again. This time, barely a whisper.
“I don’t know how to be anything other than a baseball player.” When he looked at me, his eyes seemed tortured. It was like he had spent many nights thinking about who he would be the last time he stepped off a baseball field, and he had yet to come up with an answer.
“You don’t have to be anyone else, Tommy.” My hand found his in the sand and covered it. “You just have to be you.”
The look on Tommy’s face after I spoke was one of curiosity and admiration. It was a look that made me want to run away as fast as I could. Only because it was the same look I remembered Luke giving me on our first date as I rambled on about why I loved photography. It was like a slice of reality had broken through this day to remind me that the last thing I needed was for my relationship with Tommy to get complicated with feelings. There was a contract that still legally bound the two of us together.
“You’ve got a game tomorrow,” I announced to break up the tension within me. “We should probably get you back to the hotel so you can be well rested.”
Tommy nodded, completely oblivious to the panic that was finding a home within my chest.
We were down by three runs going into the bottom of the seventh. Our bullpen was nearly exhausted and our hitting had stalled. Tommy had struck out twice and walked once so far in this game, and I watched as he sat at the end of the dugout by himself. Olivia was in the designated media section, leaving me to handle the dugout once again. I knew that Tommy’s family was in the stands somewhere, watching him play for the Cougars for the first time in person. This game probably held a lot of weight in his mind, and he was clearly cracking under the pressure of it.
Without trying to draw any attention to myself, I slowly walked toward the opposite end of the dugout where he was sitting. He was due up to bat soon, and based on how he was holding himself, I doubted the outcome would be much different than the first few times. It was like I could practically see inside his mind and hear all of the horrible things he was saying to himself about his ability to achieve.
“Hey.” I kept the camera up to my face as I snapped some photos, trying not to draw anyone’s attention in the dugout toward me and Tommy. Tommy glanced up at me in surprise that I was talking to him during the game. I had made it known that we were to avoid each other until the last out was made. As I stayed silent for a few more seconds, he continued to stare at me expectantly.
“Remember what I said?” I took the camera away from my face long enough to take a good look at him. He was staring at me like I had said something in a different language. “You just have to be you, Tommy. You’ve got nothing to prove.”
There was a determination that slowly leaked back into the set of his shoulders and the look in his eyes after he took in what I had to say. It was like my words had breathed a new life into him and released some of the worries he had been carrying on his shoulders. With his newfound confidence, Tommy grabbed his helmet and bat before walking out to home plate.
This time when he set up to wait for the pitch, it was like a completely different version of himself had appeared at the batter’s box. Gone were the nervous twitches or the uneasiness in the way he moved his hands as he waited for the pitch. His confident demeanor, the one I had seen on that very first day of practice, had returned. The runner on second signaled to Tommy the side of the plate he thought the pitch would be delivered. The pitcher started his windup, and then it was like everything was in slow motion. The ball sailed slowly toward Tommy as he tracked it closer to the plate. His hands started moving as he lined his swing up with the pitch and then made contact. The ball was sent sailing out to right-center, deep toward the fence. The crowd’s roar grew louder the closer it got to the fence before becoming deafening as it sailed over it.
Tommy threw his arms up as he rounded second and the ball landed outside the park, a home run. I captured the shot before pulling the camera down so I could watch the moment with my own eyes and not through the lens of a camera. He had cut San Diego’s lead down to one and stirred up some new energy in his teammates and the fans. A piece of me couldn’t help but soar at the idea that Tommy had used what I had said, giving him the confidence to be himself. My eyes tracked him as he stepped on home plate and pointed up toward the sky.
When he reentered the dugout to high fives and cheers from his teammates, Tommy’s eyes found mine. His lips moved, mouthing the words thank you in my direction. I gave him a small nod in return, not wanting to take away from his moment and trying to ignore the way my heart had leaped when he looked at me coming down the dugout stairs. It was like my heart was hoping, and hope was a dangerous thing. It could make you do and say things you wouldn’t normally. It could make someone foolish, and the last thing I wanted to be was a fool in all of this. The fool didn’t come out on top. The fool was taken by surprise, used, and left in the trash after a person was done with them. I wouldn’t be the fool.
Maggie
The day had come for the team to travel north up the coast toward Los Angeles. It was the Red Cross event, and to say I was nervous would be an understatement. I had stood staring at the dress hanging up in my closet in San Diego for fifteen minutes before I made a move to take it out and pack it with my other things. Part of me debated pretending to forget it at the hotel, but I knew that wouldn’t keep me from my fate. Monica would magically have another dress appear in Los Angeles for me. There was nothing in the world that would stop her from making sure Tommy and I showed up at this event to announce our relationship publicly on that red carpet.
The ocean passed by out the window of the bus we were in. This trip had easily become my favorite trip we took each season, simply for the views. With the sun shining high in the sky, a breeze pushing the palm trees, and the ocean crashing onto the shore, it felt like nothing bad could happen in the world. Like such a beautiful place couldn’t possibly allow for anything but goodness. But I couldn’t afford to be so naive.
