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“How do you want to make things better?” I asked.
“I want to make a difference.” My heart swelled at the confidence in his voice.
“How do you think your career can help with that?”
Tommy thought for a moment in silence, weighing my words carefully. “I know my platform can bring attention to a cause that has gone relatively unknown. That could help with donations and opportunities.”
“Exactly,” I agreed, excited to see him happy about something for the first time in a while. “What kind of cause are you thinking you can do that for?”
“I want to help athletes of all ages, who will transition out of their sport, to find other hobbies that bring value to them. There are too many athletes out there that struggle once they stop playing because their sport was all they knew.” Tommy’s eyes were bright as he looked at me. “Like me.”
“I think that’s great. You should meet with Monica since you aren’t represented by anyone anymore and see what you can do. She could probably help you get started with meeting the right people.”
Tommy nodded seriously like he was making a mental checklist of the things he needed to do for this idea to be born. I laid my other hand down on his thigh to get his attention back.
“I’ve told you this before and I will keep telling you: you’re more than a baseball player. You’re a son. You’re a friend. You have a big heart and a lot of love in there to spread around.”
Tommy’s thumb rubbed idle circles on the back of my hand as the conversation quieted down. It was crazy to me that every time I looked at him in moments like this, my chest could fill with so much emotion.
The city of Los Angeles slowly consumed us as we continued to drive farther into downtown where we’d be staying. Tommy and I stayed quiet the rest of the ride. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it felt like we were barreling toward impending doom with this event, like whatever fantasy world Tommy and I had been living in with whatever was going on between us was slowly slipping away from us.
I knew that shouldn’t be the case. We were on our way to get ready for an event where we would proclaim our relationship for the world to know. But I was beginning to wonder if there were too many layers of complication that had accumulated throughout this entire charade.
Monica had reserved a hotel room for us at the closest hotel to the venue and had an entire team waiting for us when we arrived. There were hair and makeup crews, as well as employees for the designer label we’d be wearing tonight. As soon as Tommy and I walked through the door, they all sprang into action like they’d been waiting for us for hours. People swarmed around the two of us and pulled us in separate directions. I was sure the look of terror on Tommy’s face was mirrored on my own.
The room was full of excited energy as a crew prepared to get me and Tommy ready for a red carpet walk. Through the sea of people, I caught Tommy looking at me with sadness written all over his face. Our eyes stayed locked on each other for a few minutes as people bustled around us. I couldn’t be sure what was going through his head, but I was beginning to feel like all of this had been a mistake. I didn’t want to date Tommy like this. The dates we were having to go on didn’t feel like they allowed for the feelings that were growing between us to flourish.
Once the crew was done making Tommy and me look almost unrecognizable, they filed out of the room one by one. An employee of the designer took pictures of us and requested they be posted on our social media accounts before they exited the room, leaving us alone finally. As soon as we were alone, it felt like there was finally air to breathe again.
“That was a lot,” Tommy said.
“I feel like I’m playing dress up.” I walked in front of the mirror to catch a glimpse of the blood-red ballgown I was wearing. The skirt fell down in luxurious waves, and the bodice accentuated the little cleavage I had. It was the nicest dress I had ever seen, and while I should’ve felt like I was living out a dream, nothing felt like me.
“You look beautiful, Maggie.” Tommy’s eyes were dark as he took me in. My cheeks flushed as he shook his head in awe.
“You look amazing too.” His suit jacket was an off-shade of red that complemented my dress and popped against the black pants and shirt he was wearing.
“You okay?” he asked me when he realized I was being more reserved than I normally was.
“This just feels like a lot.” My hands nervously smoothed down my skirt as I stared at myself in the mirror of the room. “It doesn’t feel like us.”
Tommy’s eyes scanned my face as he took in all of the emotion I’d been hiding from him. He took a step closer to me in response, his fingers coming up to trace down my jawline.
“I know.”
“How did this happen?”
Tommy knew I wasn’t talking about how we ended up at a red carpet event together. We both knew how that had happened. No, I was talking about how we ended up catching feelings for each other and were stuck living within the confines of someone else’s idea of what they wanted our relationship to be.
Instead of telling me something to help make me feel better, he took another step closer to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He pulled my body flush against his as he wrapped me in a hug that I desperately needed.
“What do you want, Maggie?” Tommy asked me as my face was tucked into his jacket. I was really hoping that the makeup artist’s setting spray was expensive and not about to ruin the multi-thousand-dollar suit that Tommy was wearing.
His words bounced around inside my heart, only one answer ringing true inside me. I wasn’t sure if it was the dress that was giving me the extra confidence, but I found my mouth opening and words coming out that I never thought I would admit to him.
“You, Tommy. I want you.”
A growl escaped Tommy’s throat at my words. One of his hands trailed up my back, making me shiver when his hand traced over my bare skin. It wrapped gently around the back of my neck and tilted my head, so I wasn’t buried in his chest anymore. His eyes stared down at me intensely.
