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“Do we have a condom?” The words came out breathy, like I was someone other than myself. I was someone who was desirable and worthy of affection. It was like Tommy’s touch had unlocked another piece of me that had been hidden away.
He peeled himself off me and went to dig around in his suitcase. Tommy found a foil package in one of the pockets and ripped it open.
“What? You just keep those handy?” I asked.
“Part of me was hoping for the opportunity to present itself with you.” Tommy slid the condom on, and within seconds, he was back on top of me. “I’ve been dreaming about this moment with you for a while.”
With that, Tommy was pushing into me, his hands digging in to find a grip on my waist, his mouth leaving kisses on every inch of me that he could reach. His breath tickled my ear as my hands threaded through his hair and pulled him closer. His name passed through my lips like a whisper, and my own rolled out of him like he was riding a tidal wave of pleasure.
Tommy held me as the pressure cascaded through us and continued to hold me after everything had subsided. He only rolled off me once the two of us had caught our breath again, but he kept his arms around me and pulled me flush against his chest, his chin resting on top of my head. I never wanted to leave this hotel room and face the reality that would lie on the other side. For now, the world was perfect.
We had sex three more times that night before we fell asleep in each other’s arms. It felt like we were making up for lost time, all of the tension that had built up between us driving our needs. When we woke the next morning from the sun streaming in through the curtains that we didn’t do a good job of closing the night before, our bodies were still tangled together. Tommy’s fingers lazily moved through my hair, which was mussed from sleep. A lazy smile crept across his face as I stared up at him.
“Hi.” His voice was thick still from sleep, and I was shocked that I could find any part of Tommy even sexier than before.
“Good morning.” I let my hands run up his back, feeling the muscles in his shoulders stretch as he lifted one hand above his head.
“We have a flight to catch,” he reminded me.
“Do we have to?”
He chuckled as he looked down at me; his hand smoothed down the side of my face and traced the line of my jaw. “I wish we didn’t, but I’m in the lineup tonight.”
“I know. May would kill me if I missed my actual job just for something Monica wanted us to do.”
Tommy slipped out from under the covers and made his way to the bathroom to shower. I propped myself up on my elbow to watch him. The sound of water interrupted the quiet silence that had filled the room as Tommy turned the handle. He turned around to look at me.
“You coming?”
A smile broke across my face as I yanked the covers back and hurried after him.
Tommy drew circles on the back of my hand with his fingers on the flight back to Chicago. The sun was rising outside the plane’s windows. Vibrant pinks and oranges stained the sky like a watercolor. This flight back almost felt like we were leaving our little wonderland to return to reality, and a thick blanket of silence hung over us as we drew closer to it. I was becoming a different version of myself, but this version I actually liked. This version wasn’t staged or lying for a photo op. It was me, but the happiest I had been in a while. The Tommy I had next to me was someone else too. He was carefree and unbothered. A piece of me would be okay if the second we landed in Chicago all of this disappeared, because that one night with Tommy felt worth it. Because, for a moment, I was a girl who was worth loving again. For one moment, I felt alive again.
As I fell asleep the night before, part of me had wondered that if when I woke up everything that had happened would disappear. Tommy would be gone and all that would be left would be a memory. It all felt too good to be true, and he would have regretted it as the sun rose in the sky. But instead of waking up to find it was all a dream, Tommy snuggled into me like a little kid as he begged for a few more minutes in my arms before we had to escape to the airport. Our hopes were high for what could happen in the future.
But the closer we got back to Chicago, the more it seemed that the tension was weighing heavier on us; however, it seemed to be weighing on Tommy more than it was me. It had me wondering if maybe I had misjudged how he had been feeling about the situation, like I had potentially misread everything about him and he really was a one-time kind of guy.
“Are you happy?” I asked him.
“Of course I am,” he replied as he lifted the hand he had been tracing to his mouth and pressed a kiss to it. “Why would you ask that?”
“Because something seems to be bothering you other than the fact that our stolen night away is ending.”
Tommy sighed and dragged both of his hands over his eyes. After a moment, he dropped his hands away from his face and turned his head to look at me again. “I’m nervous about the game.”
“Why?” It wasn’t like Tommy had something to worry about. He had been playing well.
“My parents are in town to watch.”
Then it all made sense. I remembered how he had gotten when we had visited his parents in California. He had been on edge around his dad, wanting desperately to make him proud, but at war with his dad’s disapproval for his previous actions. I truly believed that he would be okay if his career ended tomorrow, but only if he had finally done something to make his dad proud. Tommy was on a redemption mission with the Cougars. This was his opportunity to rewrite the story of his professional career and make up for the stains that mottled it.
“You’ll do great, Tommy.” I reached back over to grab his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“It feels like I have to do more than great to get my dad to think I’m doing anything with my career.” My heart ached as I watched the pain on Tommy’s face.
“Your dad loves you. I’m sure he is beyond proud to see his son as a professional baseball player living out his dreams.”
“I’m sure he’s proud of that,” Tommy agreed. “I’m not sure if he will ever get over my actions from those first few years.”
