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It would just be Tommy.
My Tommy.
Alone.
But every time I blinked and opened my eyes again, I saw the two of them talking with each other. I saw Tommy smiling about whatever Sutton was talking with him about, and I felt every shred of my recently repaired heart obliterating inside my chest.
Before I did anything embarrassing, I hurried back toward Mrs. Adams’s car with tears in my eyes. A small voice in the back of my head warned me that driving right now probably wasn’t the brightest idea, but all I wanted to do was get far away from Tommy.
I slid inside the safety of the car, feeling like the four walls were enough privacy to let a few tears slide down my cheeks. Somehow, seeing Sutton in Tommy’s arms didn’t feel like a complete surprise. It was almost the perfect twist of fate to let me believe my luck had started to change, to let me believe that I was finally worth finding love again, and then take all of that away from me in the blink of an eye.
Even though every part of me wanted to stay parked on the side of the road and throw myself a pity party, I didn’t want to risk Tommy or Sutton coming around the corner to see me parked there like a fool. So I slid the key back into the ignition and turned the engine over.
To hear nothing.
I tried again.
Nothing.
My mouth dropped open in surprise at the sheer audacity that fate was testing me with in that moment. I tried the key one more time to make sure that this was really happening, and when the car stayed silent, I pushed my head back into the headrest of the seat.
“Are you kidding me right now?” I groaned up at the ceiling. “Can someone up there give me a break for once? Have I not been good?”
With no other choice, I pulled my phone out and dialed the only lifeline I could think of.
“Hey, girl! How’s your day off?” Olivia’s voice came over the line.
“I need you to pick me up somewhere. I don’t care how long it takes.” I didn’t bother with any small talk. All I wanted to do was curl up into a ball on my couch and eat an entire tub of ice cream. The faster I could get there, the better.
“Where are you?” She didn’t even bother asking me if I was okay, which was why I loved her. Her priority was getting to me first to make sure I was safe before she asked what happened. I gave her the address where I was before we hung up the phone.
As soon as I refocused on the quiet space around me, the only thing my brain could think about was Tommy with his arms around Sutton, and I knew that if I stayed inside the car any longer, I would surely explode into a mess of tears. Before I could watch Sutton in Tommy’s arms for probably the hundredth time in the past five minutes, I threw the door open to Mrs. Adams’s Buick and leaned against the side of the car. My breath was coming in heavily like I had run a marathon as I tried to prevent myself from experiencing any kind of anxiety episode.
I raked my hands over my eyes, sure that I had smeared my mascara but not really caring. All I wanted to do was pull these overwhelming emotions out of my body and distance myself from them as much as possible. But before I could attempt that form of exorcism, I heard the one voice I really was hoping to avoid.
Before I risked getting caught standing around the corner from Tommy’s house with raccoon eyes and snot smeared on my shirt, I dove behind the trunk of the car with the hope that I could avoid being spotted. A few seconds later, Tommy walked around the corner with Sutton. The two weren’t walking particularly close to each other, but they were both laughing at something that had been previously shared.
Envy raged within me. My heart desperately ached for me to be in Sutton’s place, sharing a conspiratorial laugh with Tommy. I hated the fact that she was getting the opportunity to do that, and I hated the fact that I felt such a thing. Logically, I didn’t have the right to be jealous over who Tommy shared any sort of emotions with, only because he had never been mine in the first place.
Their voices grew closer and I drew into myself, hoping to make myself as small as possible. The closer it sounded like they were, the more I slowly edged to slide around to the opposite side of the car. Tommy walked Sutton to what looked to be a rental car and opened the driver’s door for her. She rolled the window down after she pulled the door shut, and luckily they were close enough that I could hear what she said to him.
“You deserve happiness, Tommy.” Tommy dropped his eyes toward his feet and gave her a reluctant nod before he backed away from the car and gave Sutton enough room to pull away from the curb. My mind raced with the worst-case scenario.
Did Sutton convince him that he wasn’t happy here in Chicago?
Did he want his old life back?
Was she what he wanted?
Was she the happiness he deserved?
A small part of my brain recognized the irrationality of the thoughts flying through my head, but they felt too consuming at the moment to ignore. A stupid tear snaked down my face, and I swiped at it with the back of my hand.
Tommy’s eyes shifted over to me, crouching behind a car, clearly trying to avoid being caught.
“Maggie?” he called, walking closer.
I shot up and looked around, desperately wishing for Olivia’s car to magically appear. But Tommy quickened his pace, seeing my resemblance to a trapped animal and not wanting me to bolt.
