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“You said that already,” I pointed out.
“Well, he is,” Alan reminded me. “I bet you could’ve had him before Perry came along.”
“Let me remind you that Perry came along when we were nineteen or twenty, Alan. Besides, I dated people after Jack got with Perry, and I knew I wanted what he’d found, but I was willing to wait.”
“Waiting is one thing,” he pointed out. “But not fucking at your age? Not right, in my opinion.”
Alan made his way to the walk-in closet, forgetting his toothbrush. I followed after him. “I’m not disappointed I waited,” I insisted. “I met you and discovered a life with you. Actually, I’m proud I waited for true love.”
He pulled our tux bags from the closet and laid them on the upholstered bench that sat in the middle of our roomy closet. “I couldn’t do that. All that wondering about other guys. Trying different things out. Stuff like that.”
“I had you though,” I defended. “You taught me what you enjoyed sexually, and I’ve been satisfied ever since.”
Alan opened a drawer and tossed me a pair of briefs. We were the same size in everything except shoes. “But honestly, Cole. Don’t you wonder just a little bit?” he asked. “I seriously couldn’t have done that.”
“Here again, you said that already,” I stated. “You are you, and I am me. I was more modest. Maybe a bit shyer, too, but ultimately none of it matters because I found exactly who I want to be with.”
Alan had his back to me as he sorted through the sock drawer, looking for black socks for both of us. “Nope, couldn’t have done it,” he declared, shaking his head, still going on about my personal choice to save myself for the right person. “And you’re certain that you wouldn’t want to experience sex with someone else? Like, you know, if I was cool with it?”
I sat on the bench, crossing my arms, staring at the back of his head. “Look at me, Alan,” I said. “Please turn around and look at me.”
“What?” he whined, turning around and mirroring me by crossing his arms. He was flushed red.
“Why are you so red?” I asked.
“I’m not red,” he argued, turning away from me again. “I’m hot after the shower.”
“Look at me, Alan.”
“What?” he asked, reluctantly turning back. “Calm down, grandpa. God, Cole. You can be so boring.”
“Are you trying to tell me something?” I asked, standing and stepping closer to him. “Because you always beat a path a mile long when you want to say something. And then I’m supposed to guess what it is you’re on about.”
Alan stepped back and acted offended. “Here we go,” he said, shaking his head and frowning. “Alan must be up to something because he asked a question.”
“Do you want an open relationship?” I asked. His mouth pinched as he stared at me. An instant no or a proper protest would have been appropriate, kinder even, but he said nothing. “Well?”
“Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous,” he stated.
“I only ask because ever since Mark and Travis opened their relationship up, you’ve been fascinated by the idea, so I’m just asking again. Do you want an open relationship?”
“Do you?”
“I do not,” I said. “I didn’t wait all those years so I could share my partner with others.”
“Well, there you go, Cole. Me either,” he agreed.
We dressed in silence and went to the dinner party. Like Jack, Alan was also the life of every party. That was the main reason why I was attracted to him.
I’d been told by a therapist once that we choose our partners the way we would hire someone for a job. We tend to be drawn to people who possess a quality we don’t have or that we admire in them.
His new boss had hired Alan despite him not passing the bar exam twice. Perhaps he also saw something that he admired about Alan that night.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN: Chad
“Check this out,” I said, turning my laptop toward my father. “For sale and practically brand new,” I added, tapping the screen.
Dad slid his glasses down his nose and leaned toward the screen. “A food truck?” he asked, redirecting his eyes to me. “For whom?”
