AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“So, I was right about you two?”
“Yep,” I confirmed.
“Okay then, Chad, but why the hesitance in your voice? That isn’t you, my friend.”
“Don’t tell me anything, Perry. Never mind. This was wrong to have called about Cole,” I admitted. “I’m… well… honestly, I’m experiencing something I’m not good at.”
What was I so afraid of? I wasn’t trusting my own judgement lately, and the realization was off-putting. The whole idea that Jack was up to his usual love matching had crossed my mind a thousand times since meeting Cole. In fact, meeting his friend Marla, who thought herself to be a bit clairvoyant, only added to the belief. But why wasn’t Jack talking to me now?
“Are you experiencing indecision?” he asked. “Cold feet after the Clint breakup?”
“That’d be the exact reason, Perry,” I answered. “Not too proud about calling to check up on his past, either.”
“Then don’t ask me questions, kiddo. Just listen for a second. Can you do that?” he asked.
“Yes. I can do that. Nothing too personal though, okay?”
He drew in a long breath. I sat quietly and waited for Perry to speak, as my mind did battle with my heart. This was not me. I am afraid of very little in this world and yet, lately, I was afraid of being in love again. The one thing I trusted more than anything in my world, love, had me frightened to rejoin the team.
“First off, I’m a little surprised that you’re afraid, Chad. I know you didn’t say that, but I think I know you well enough to read into your hesitation,” he began. “So I’m not going to say much about Cole except this. Jack loved that man like no other. The two of them were so close that I sometimes got jealous of what they had. And Jack was an amazing man, and unparalleled when it came to his gift of seeing the goodness in people. That should speak to the truth of who Cole is right there, my friend. I trust Cole. I love him.”
My eyes filled as I stared into the distance. I knew halfway through his speech where he was going with his assessment. Of course, Cole was Jack’s best friend. Every story I’d ever heard about Jack told the story of a special human being. And that person, Jack, had chosen Cole, the man I’d fallen in love with, to be his best friend.
“Thank you,” I whispered, wiping at my eyes with the back of a hand. “I’m afraid, Perry,” I confessed. “The last three and a half, four years, have me spooked.”
“I know, kiddo. I can hear it in your voice,” he said. “You are special, Chad. I know that, and you know that. Your great gift is your capacity to love, to understand the people you love, and to spread love. If you question anything, do not question that.”
“I gave up on Clint,” I whispered, struggling to admit the guilt I carried. “Did I try hard enough, Perry?”
“I only know a little about the breakup, but Clint admitted he couldn’t live a gay lifestyle, so what were you expected to do with that?”
“Love him through it?” I asked. “At least I thought I could,” I added.
“And then what?” he asked. “What if he never got there, Chad? What if you spent even more years wishing he could?”
“But what if he could?” I asked. “What if I gave up too easily?”
“What if you didn’t?” he asked. “Last I heard, Clint took up with Rhonda again. That in itself should answer your question,” he added. “And please, don’t get me wrong, Lucas and I still love him. Of course, we do, but he’s made his choice. I’d say it’s fair if you accepted the fact that despite how hard you tried, the relationship failed.”
“Do you know if he’s okay?”
“I don’t,” he stated. “He doesn’t return texts or calls.”
“And his money?” I asked. “I heard he’s been spending heavily.”
“Truthfully, you shouldn’t have been told that, and I cannot or will not speak about a client’s business, even when I know you mean well.”
“You’re a good friend, Perry. I love that about you.”
“Trust yourself, Chad. You, more than anyone I’ve ever met, know love. If you’re feeling this way about Cole, then I’d listen to yourself, even if Jack is staying quiet.”
“Weird, though, right?” I asked. “You know, about Jack’s silence.”
“Everything about you two is weird. Where would I even begin?” he quipped, laughing at his own joke. “But seriously, you’ve heard nothing?”
“He’s here,” I said. “I can feel that, but he isn’t talking about me and his best friend.”
“Maybe he doesn’t have to. You ever think about that?”
