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I’m also nearly thirty years old. Shouldn’t I have my life figured out by now?
“Kipp,” Teddy says gently.
This time, it’s me shaking my head. “Don’t defend me,” I say, grabbing my shirt. “I went overboard last night, and I dragged you down with me.”
I startle somewhat when warm fingers touch my chin. My gaze snaps up to Teddy, who looks a lot less surly than he did a minute ago.
“It took both of us to get married,” he says. “If it’s your fault, then it’s mine, too. We’ll figure it out, okay? I’m sure we can get the whole thing annulled. It’ll be like it never happened.”
“Yeah, okay,” I mutter, not sure, for some reason, if that makes me feel better or worse.
Teddy gives my chin a squeeze before letting go. “I need to use the bathroom.”
I nod as Teddy retreats into the en suite, and then I pick up my phone. “Who even lets people get married when they’re that drunk?” I say loudly. “I mean, I was wearing a dick crown, for Christ’s sake. That should have been a dead giveaway. Oh, hey, where is that thing? Hopefully, I didn’t lose…”
My voice sputters out when I open my Instagram. There are two new pictures posted on my account from early this morning. In one, Teddy and I are practically falling over each other, my arm around his neck and his lips pressed to my blush-red—or maybe booze-red—cheek. We’re standing in front of a chapel. I labeled it, simply, “Hubs.” The next is a close-up of our joined hands, gold bands clearly visible. Below the picture is “We did it!”
“Fuuuck,” I groan. Suddenly, my brother’s phone call makes a lot more sense.
“What’s wrong?” Teddy asks, emerging from the bathroom.
I swing my phone screen his way. “I don’t think we can pretend it never happened.”
I leave Teddy’s apartment in a funk. I don’t bother responding to my missed calls or messages. I simply grab a rideshare home and silently berate myself for being so utterly reckless. Twenty-nine and gearing up for my first divorce. Annulment. Whatever.
“I need to send him a gift basket for putting up with this crap,” I mutter.
“Pardon?” my driver asks.
“Oh.” I huff a humorless laugh. “My husband. He deserves the biggest apology basket ever. Which one do you think says ‘I’m sorry we got drunk and made major life decisions together’—muffins or fruit?”
The guy mumbles something I can’t make out, and I slump in my seat, keeping my mouth shut for the rest of the drive. He drops me off in front of my building, and I head inside, eyes catching on my ring again as I stand at my door. My stomach rolls with something not entirely unpleasant, but I shake it off and turn the knob.
My roommate pounces before I’ve taken two steps. “Holy shit, did you seriously get married?”
I give Brodie a rueful smile. “Signs point to yes.”
Although, technically, we’ve yet to find paperwork confirming it. But the rings and pictures are pretty damning.
“I didn’t even know you were serious about someone,” Brodie says, following me into the kitchen as I fill up a glass with water and chug it down. I’m fucking thirsty. “If I’d known, I would have talked to you sooner, but this is actually pretty great.”
“Wait, what?” I ask, setting down my empty glass.
Brodie holds his hands together, giving me a big, pleading smile that has me more than a little concerned. “Well, Xavier and I have been getting serious, too.”
“Yeah?”
My roommate and I aren’t exactly close, even though we’ve lived together for over a year. We get along fine, but Brodie works the graveyard shift, whereas I have a typical nine-to-five office job. We rarely ever see each other, and the times we do, it’s usually in passing. Frankly, I don’t even know who Xavier is.
“Uh-huh,” Brodie says. “And I was trying to figure out a way to ask if we could have the apartment. But now, I don’t have to, right? What’s your husband’s name again?”
“Oh, uh, Teddy.”
“Right,” he says. “Well, I assume you’re moving in with Teddy? Honestly, the timing is perfect. Win-win all around.” He grins as my gut does a nosedive.
“The thing is…”
“Oh, and congratulations!” he practically shouts, coming in and wrapping his slender arms around my shoulders. He bounces a little, bringing me along for the ride. “I’m so happy for you.”
