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“I really like it. Being his…” I don’t say boy because it doesn’t feel right. I’m well aware our dynamic is similar to a Daddy-boy relationship. Teddy is dominant. He calls the shots. And he’s teaching me, carefully and thoughtfully, how to enjoy submission—something I never even knew I could enjoy. Or crave.
But our specific relationship is our own. It’s unique in a way any relationship is. And I’m not Teddy’s boy. I’m his doll. For us—for me—that’s right.
“I like being the one he takes care of,” I settle on. “It feels really good to just…trust that what he tells me to do is what he wants. It’s no more complicated than that. I trust him, and he takes care of me. And somehow, that makes him happy. It makes me happy, too.”
Niko nods slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. “You know, I never thought about it before, but it makes sense.”
“What does?” I ask.
“You,” he says gently. “You go out of your way to please people. You know you do.”
“Maybe,” I mumble.
But who doesn’t want everyone around them to be happy? If they’re happy, they don’t have a reason to dislike your actions or you as a person…aaand I think I see what Niko is getting at.
“But I assume being submissive means letting go of all that worry, at least for a little while,” he goes on. “And with Teddy, you know you’re safe to do so. You don’t have to try with him. Like you said, he tells you how to please him, and you know he won’t abuse that trust.”
“Yeah,” I say a little hoarsely.
“So I can see it,” Niko says. “And I’m glad you found someone to help you let go of all that pressure.”
“He’s not mine, Nik,” I nearly whisper.
“Maybe not fully. Not yet. But he could be.”
I nod, not speaking for a moment. My throat is burning, and I’m scared to hope. Scared he could be the one.
Because what if I’m not his one?
“He makes it quiet,” I tell Niko.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s so loud sometimes. Up here,” I say, pointing to my head. “There are opinions and deadlines and second-guessing and… Just a lot of noise, all the time. But Teddy… He makes it quiet.”
Niko squeezes my arm. “Sounds nice.”
“Yeah,” I rasp. “It is.”
Niko and I stay outside for a few minutes longer, but eventually, we get up and head home with Cassandra and Calliope. Niko drops me off last, giving me a quick hug from the driver’s seat and reminding me it’s okay if I like him. That Teddy is one of the good ones.
I tell him I know.
When I get inside after a long afternoon and evening of being gone, I almost expect all of my feelings for Teddy to have been blown out of proportion inside my own head. Like maybe I was remembering him wrong or adding a rosy glow to our kinda-kinky friends-with-benefits pseudo-marriage.
But the moment I see him on the couch, I know that’s not the case. He smiles, big and broadly, and my insides light like a supernova.
“Hey,” he says warmly.
I head toward him on autopilot, falling onto his lap. He chuckles, his hand going to my hair, and I damn near purr like a cat.
“Have a good time?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I answer.
“Glad to be back?”
“Yeah.”
