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“You’re so naive, Seby,” Michael said.
Dad lifted his hand to silence me just as I opened my mouth. “Michael is right, Son. You telling that to yourself won’t make it true. They have connections. They have the support of the public that’s turned away from God. Who knows what they do to get the exposure and contacts? Who knows what they give in order to get those agents you covet.” He leaned a little toward me. “Have you received any improper propositions, Sebastian?”
It was my turn to grind my teeth. The corners of my lips curved down a little as my heart fractured.
“You have, haven’t you?” Dad said gently, almost like he wanted me to say that it was true.
“Of course not,” I squeezed sourly. He had so little experience in anything beyond this town and the parish and the holy goddamn books.
Dad gritted his teeth. “Son, there is no shame in it for you. The virtuous…”
“Dinner’s ready,” Mom said as she entered the dining room with Eryn following. They carried the food in their hands and the huge bowl of mashed potatoes Eryn was hauling seemed too big for her thin arms. My chair scraped against the hardwood floor, and I got to my feet, taking the bowl from my sister.
She shot me a grateful and playful look, both merged into one and returned to the kitchen. I followed, murmuring I could bring out the rest.
As we rounded the corner and I scanned the kitchen, Eryn whispered, “Are you ready to run away screaming yet?”
“You know it,” I said in a tight voice, relaxing a little. “Is it always like this?”
Eryn shrugged. “Sort of. They know best, right?” The sarcasm drenched her tone.
“Michael’s the worst offender,” I whispered.
Eryn’s lips stretched into a guilty smile. She pushed the salad bowl my way and picked up the gravy to carry back. “We can gossip about our big brothers later.”
“No. We are going to.” I wore a polite little smile as I returned to the dining room.
Mom sat on the opposite end of the table from Dad. She seemed delighted to see me carry the salad. “Look at him,” she exclaimed. “Such a gentleman. That girl is so lucky, isn’t she?” she asked no one in particular. “What’s her name, again, dear?”
I shook my head as I placed the salad on the table. “There’s no girl, Mom.”
“Truly?” she asked. “I was sure there was…”
“Not anymore,” I said tightly. As I sat down, I made the mistake of looking at Dad. He was staring at me like I’d grown a pair of boobs out of nowhere.
“Don’t you think it’s well beyond the time you settled down a little?” he asked.
I’m turning twenty-three this summer, I wanted to say. Besides, I have settled down. Instead of speaking, I shrugged. I knew that there was no winning an argument with them.
We ate the roast turkey in silence after Dad said the graces, and at every scrape of the knife against the plate, Dad shot a glare in the offender’s direction. I was the most common target. And after dinner, the more annoying of my brothers decided to linger around. Dad, Michael, and I sat in the living room after Mom refused my offer to do the dishes, sounding almost scandalized. Eryn had no choice.
I crossed my legs knee over the knee and uncrossed them promptly when Dad let his gaze linger on them. Jesus Christ. Is there anything allowed in this house? But before I could even begin searching for some topic of conversation, Dad exhaled through his nose. “We are glad to see you, Sebastian. You don’t visit nearly as often as other children.” He left that hanging for a few moments. “We are worried.”
I shook my head. “What are you worried about?” I asked.
Dad hesitated for a short time. “Those boys you live with,” Dad began.
“We’ve seen what they are promoting. It’s not right, Seby. You’re better than that, but you’re not as smart as you think.” Michael’s voice was impatient with all the things he’d been wanting to say to me.
My stomach turned. Dad lifted a hand to silence my brother. How the hell had this guy become a doctor?
Michael ignored Dad. “No, he needs to hear this, Father. He’s exposing himself to their influence, thinking he’s immune. Nobody’s immune from temptation.”
I choked. “What are you…?”
“You could think it’s cool how people cheer and applaud when two of your teammates kiss in front of the cameras, but you don’t know how deep the risks are, Seby. You’re too young to know these things.” Michael was growing more agitated with each word.
“Enough.” Dad’s voice was tight. He waited for the silence to settle. “Michael is right, Son, but his language is extreme. We are worried, yes. We worry that you could be influenced in ways that would harm you. You don’t even know until it’s too late. It’s the job of your family to protect you.”
