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He just described a mating bond.
I swallow nervously at his confession. “Oh,” is all I can say.
“But your other tells? You pick at your nails when you’re uncomfortable, your foot twitches when you’re lost in thought, and you hum to yourself when you’re nervous.”
I knew about the first two, but the last one catches me completely off guard.
“Excuse me? I hum?”
“You make a little noise in the back of your throat, almost as if you’re going to say something. But you don’t.”
I stare at him slack-jawed. “I have never done that.”
But he just grins wolfishly, white teeth gleaming in the moonlight. “I’m sorry if I’m good at my job, baby. And don’t worry, it’s adorable. I could study you all day.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not that interesting.”
Suddenly, River stops and grips my chin to tilt my head up. “You are the most interesting fucking creature on this earth,” he says. “The way you eat, breathe, and fucking sleep is more interesting to me than anything else. And Skylar, it will never stop being that way for me.”
I blink at him, stunned.
“You’re not just some Omega I’m attracted to. You’re not just a girlfriend to me. You make my life better. You’re everything.”
I know I should be terrified by his confession. He’s too obsessive and intense.
But the lonely Omega in me is thrilled. The girl that always felt like a burden to her boyfriends, that always felt like she was asking for too much, is finally being given what she’s selfishly wanted.
And it’s by three Alphas, not one. I know that Landon and Vincent will balance him out.
His eyes search mine. “I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I can smell your panic. I can take you back, if you want.”
I shake my head and give him a small smile. “Not yet,” I counter. “Let’s keep walking.”
I don’t release his hand as we circle the block.
“How were the panic attacks when I was gone?” I ask softly when we’re back inside my house. River flips on the light to the front room as I shrug off his jacket, and then he takes a seat on the couch.
“I’m not sure you want the answer to that,” he says.
“I do.” I sit next to him, and he looks at me solemnly.
“It was more chaos in my mind than usual,” he shrugs. “A lot more coffee and less sleep. The only time I could rest was when I was here.” He motions to the front room. “The best sleep I had in years was the first day I came to your house. Your scent kept me grounded enough to do my job.”
Tears fill my eyes. I’m overcome with emotion and an instinct to blurt the words that have been sitting on my tongue for days.
But the last time I said them first, it ended horribly.
I made a promise to myself that I would never be the one to say “I love you” first, as infantile as it sounds.
So, instead of confessing my feelings, I ask a question. “Do the others know?”
River scoffs. “Yeah. They both do. Landon caught on immediately, and Vincent…well, he fucking saw me have a breakdown, which turned into a panic attack.”
He focuses on my coffee table, not looking at me. “Walking has always helped me. So has working. If I’m idle for too long, things can get bad pretty quick.”
“I’m the same way,” I murmur. “I know I can’t go back to working at the café yet, but I’m dying to.”
His eyes flash to mine. “Which is why it was so hard for you that night, when we told you to stay home,” he says softly. “Fuck. I didn’t know at the time. I’m so fucking sorry, Skylar.”
