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I knew he was trying to spare me shame, but it no longer mattered to me. I shook my head.
“No—it’s all right.”
I found it hard to get the words out. I was deep in the lust trance the Needing causes, which always makes my thoughts feel far away. They float like clouds when I’m in that state—it’s difficult to catch them and force them into words. There was one thing I wanted to say though—one thing I wanted to ask.
“Sel…?”I looked up at my best friend. “You won’t leave…will you?”
“I’ll go with the two of you on stage,” he promised. “And I’ll be the one to strap you into the Quenching Frame. All right?”
I nodded.
“Thank you.” That was what I had wanted. I would have been embarrassed for anyone else to witness my shame and public humiliation up close, but Sel knew me and he knew my needs. I felt no shame with him because he had never sought to shame me, even when we were much younger.
It made me think of the very first time he’d found me crying behind the Palace—crying because Lady Elgiana had succeeded in infecting me with the Needing and her punishments were too painful even for me to bear. Not even the Needing can make being fucked by a thorned phallus into pleasure.
When I had confessed the shameful truth—that I was now a Needer—he hadn’t moved to get away from me. Instead, he had put his arms around me and let me cry. It had taken me many more years to confess the details of the awful things Lady Elgiana was doing to me—that was later, when we were grown and I had freed myself of her service. But Sel had offered to help me immediately—and he hadn’t flinched when I’d told him what I needed to satisfy my Needing Cycle.
So I was glad that he was the one leading me and Princess Lilliana to the stage. I loved them both—there were no other people in the world I wanted with me during this public spectacle.
The curtain had already been raised so the stage was open for everyone to see us. The Princess carried herself well, with her chin lifted high. Her full breasts bounced and the Royal Purple tassels bobbed with every step. The golden phallus stuck proudly up from between her thighs, still oozing lubricant. I shivered when I thought of how she was about to fuck me with it again—this time to completion.
I tried not to look at the faces of the High Fae and the Nobles as we stepped out onto the stage. They were gossiping, no doubt—whispering about what was about to happen. I tried not to see the derision in their faces or hear the whispers of “half-breed” that hissed from every set of lips.
Then Sel was pushing me against the padded leather of the Quenching Frame and buckling my wrists and ankles to its four corners. He adjusted the stepping stool and then the Princess climbed up behind me.
“Are you okay, Krynn?” she murmured, her voice soft and sweet in my ear. When she touched me, I could feel that she really cared about me and I knew she felt the same from me. Since she had taken my blood, she now had my Sin Eater tendencies. It was a damn good thing she couldn’t catch the Needing—if I had been a Carrier like Lady Elgiana was, this level of intimacy wouldn’t have been safe between us.
“I’m…all right…my Lady,” I managed to get out. Then my eyes strayed to the crowd again. The Quenching Frame was arranged so that the Princess and I were both in profile with the Court in their seats to the left and the back of the stage to our right.
Sel seemed to see where I was looking because he came around to the front of the frame and took my face in his hands.
“Look at me and only me,” he ordered. “I’m going to go stand over there, just beside the curtain so no one in the crowd can see me. But you’ll be able to see me and I want you to look at me while the Princess fucks you.” His voice was stern and masterful—a tone I couldn’t disobey and he knew it.
I nodded slowly, giving him my word though I couldn’t speak the words out loud. The Needing was too strong in me now—I was lost to everything but its claim on my body.
“You all right, Princess?” Sel asked her.
Behind me, I could feel her nodding.
“I’ll be okay—I think.”
“You’ll be fine,” he said firmly. “You can look at me too, if you need to. Just don’t look at the crowd—who gives a fuck what they think, right?”
“Right.” Her voice trembled only a little.
“Fuck him hard and bite him when you come,” Sel said. “It’ll be over before you know it.”
Then he walked to the other end of the stage and positioned himself to one side of the curtain, just as he had promised. Arms crossed over his broad chest, he met my eyes and nodded slowly at the Princess.
“And now,” Mordren’s voice said—though it seemed to come from very far away. “The lovely Princess Lilliana will perform a Public Quenching with our own Royal Record Keeper and Historian as the subject of her Thirst!”
There were some cheers and some boos—mostly cheers though. I was tempted to look out at the crowd to try and see what they were thinking. I had worked hard to rise from a mere servant to the title of Royal Records Keeper and Historian. Most of the Court didn’t even know I was half Fairy.
I wondered if I could manage to keep my wings folded but really, did it matter? Here I was, strapped naked to the Quenching frame and about to be fucked. Even the shame of showing my wings couldn’t be worse than that.
And yet I craved it—craved the shame and the pain so deeply I thought I might start begging if the Princess didn’t start fucking me soon.
Then I felt it, her soft little hand on my ass, urging me to open for her.
