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“Considering I remain unable to stand up to Mom or get up the nerve to face my fears over my future, I have a ways to go with doing it for myself.”
Colby and I were both relegated to these roles that we no longer wished to be in, wanting to break out, but not being brave enough to do so.
“Tell me what I can do.”
“Same thing you’ve always done. Love me no matter what. Oh, and never, ever side with something Mom said about me again. ‘Kay?”
* * *
Although Brian had offeredto see me to the airport, the only person I allowed to accompany me was Mark. I’d eventually get completely past this with my brother, but right now I needed some space from what had happened this morning and some unbiased advice.
“What are you going to do once you return to Los Angeles?” Mark asked.
“Aside from trying not to become a stalking ex-girlfriend, I’m not sure, which probably doesn’t bode well if I’ll have that kind of time on my hands.”
He chuckled before turning serious. “You may have others fooled with your sarcasm, but I know you’re hurting, Kenzie.”
I fought the tears, having one slip down in spite of my best effort. “See what you did?” I teased. “Self-deprecation and sarcasm are traits much preferable to breaking down completely.”
“You love him, so it’s understandable.” He took my hand and squeezed. “Josh flying out to talk to him may help.”
“Maybe, but what if it doesn’t?”
“Then you focus on yourself. Stay busy and make plans. Go after what you want as boldly as you confronted Josh and Brian. You were fearless today, so start adopting that approach for yourself.”
Hadn’t Colby used that same word to describe me on the lacrosse field? Mark was right. I needed to start standing up for myself as confidently as I had for Colby earlier today.
“Thank you. By the way, I didn’t mean to lump you into the whole thing about having a history you wouldn’t want aired when I was talking to Josh and Brian. After all, we both know you’re Superman.”
He chuckled because when I’d met him at seven years old, it’s the first thing I’d told him: that he looked like Clark Kent. “Believe me when I say I’m no superhero. Everyone has regrets and things we wish we’d done differently. I’m no exception.”
* * *
By the timeI arrived home, I had a plan. The first order of business when I stepped inside my apartment was to call the man from the record label and find out when the audition was scheduled for. Next, I drove down to the Home Depot to get boxes and tape. It was time to start packing.
As I finished up boxing the contents of my kitchen, as well as other items I wouldn’t need for the next few days, a text from Colby came in. It got my hopes up immediately.
“We need to talk. Come outside when you’re ready.”
I peered out between my blinds and saw him leaning against his car in the parking lot below my window. It wasn’t a good sign, however that he didn’t want to have this discussion behind closed doors.
Not only did I make him wait, I changed into my running gear before heading downstairs. Doing so served two purposes. One: I figured after this conversation I’d need the physical exertion, and two: my running shorts were an admitted turn-on for him. Since I was a girl who unequivocally wanted him to realize what he was giving up, I wasn’t above using everything in my arsenal.
Watching while his eyes roamed over me from head to toe, I experienced a moment of empowerment—only to have it crash down with his first sentence.
“Why the hell would you go behind my back and talk to my brother about something that happened three years ago?”
I quirked a brow. Pent-up frustration boiled up at the fact that, after breaking my heart, he’d have the nerve to be angry with me right now. “Behind your back implies that I’d hoped to keep it a secret. If you’d been there, I would’ve said the same thing in front of you, but you left, and I said my piece.”
“So you guilted Josh enough that he traveled here in order to apologize to me?”
“I didn’t guilt anyone. I told the truth and explained what you wouldn’t.”
“What the hell did you say to them?”
“Why don’t you start by telling me what they said to you first? Before I came into the room.”
His jaw clenched with irritation at my deflection. “I don’t need you defending me.”
