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Chapter Seven
Some of my friends in college, the ones I’d confided in about being a virgin, used to ask how I could’ve gone without sex for twenty-two years. I now knew the answer was simple: I hadn’t known what I was missing.
As I lay restless in bed after my do-over kiss with Colby, my body was remembering the way he’d touched me and how it had felt to be rocked against him so intimately. At least it didn’t seem he’d disappoint in that category. I punched my pillow, knowing for certain I’d be hurting in the morning for sleep. I wondered if he was similarly afflicted but realized he most likely had taken care of things himself. Huh, there was a thought.
I needed a big glass of wine and a vibrator. I had neither of those two things in my possession, but I was sure as hell going to remedy the situation once I returned to LA.
As predicted, I was exhausted the next morning after a fitful night’s sleep. Maybe it was the kiss or stressing about the great unknown when it came to the next phase of my life, but either way, I was feeling restless by the time we boarded Colby’s private plane. He must’ve sensed my anxiety during the flight as he watched my knee bob up and down of its own accord while we traveled closer to home, where I’d no longer be able to ignore reality.
“I meant what I said before. I’d pay for your school, Kenz.”
My eyes met his, and I fought the temptation to go for the easy choice by taking either his offer or my brother’s. “I know, but I’m tired of being dependent on other people and need to figure out what I can do on my own.”
“You’re twenty-two and graduated last week. Give yourself a break. So what if your parents paid your living expenses for your college, and Brian, what, helps you out from time to time? That’s what families do when they have the means to.”
I bit my lip, not knowing quite how to phrase my next question without offending him. “Don’t you sometimes want more?”
“What do you mean?”
I expelled a long breath. “I’m not even sure.”
He turned toward me, giving me his full attention. “Try me.”
“You know how you said you’ve never seen your brother the way he is with his wife and baby. Then I witnessed the way Brian and Sasha are together…”
“You want a relationship now?”
His voice had held a note of pure terror. “Jeez, stow your panic button. No, that’s not it. It’s more about the people they were before they got together. Haylee, who’s only a year older than I am, knew exactly what she wanted with law school.”
He looked thoughtful. “Some of that is due to her losing both parents so young, I’m sure.”
“Right, except it shouldn’t take that for me to learn to be independent.”
“You moved across the country to attend a school where you didn’t know anyone. I’d argue that’s pretty independent.”
It was sweet of him to defend me. “I accomplished that with Brian and you helping me move. And then my parents paid for my apartment, my car, and all my furnishings.”
He frowned. “So, I moved out to Los Angeles and started a business with my family’s money.”
“Yeah, but you started a business. A company you envisioned, researched and which, with your hard work, has become successful. It’s something you should be really proud of. I guess I want the same.”
“What can I do?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure, but whatever I figure out, hopefully you can be supportive?”
He tugged on my hair playfully. “Of course I will.”
* * *
After we landed at LAX,Colby dropped me off at my apartment before he headed home. I wasn’t especially attached to my garden-style one-bedroom, but after moving out of the dorms two years ago, I’d become accustomed to my own space with my very own stuff.
First thing I did was make a trip to the nearby 7-11 for junk food because when I got anxious or started feeling blue, I could literally eat my weight in Hostess products. Adulting could totally include Ho Hos. Unfortunately it also needed to involve a nice long run if I was to alleviate the caloric guilt over my junk food inhalation.
After donning my running attire and headphones, I took off, making my way through the UCLA campus and back. It was hot, although unlike Vegas, the heat here didn’t burn my eyes. Arriving back at my place, I was ready for a long shower and a well-deserved dinner of peanut butter Captain Crunch. Before undressing, I checked my phone and frowned at the three missed calls from Colby. After I dialed him back, he picked up on the first ring.
“Where were you?”
“Running. Why?”
