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“That’s such a turn-on. You have no idea how much I want to slide into your delicious heat right now.”
I could feel his erection poking me from behind and smiled. “Well, then, breakfast can wait.”
He gripped my hips and adjusted himself. “Kenz?”
“Mm?” I tried to shove back only to have his hands hold me in place.
“I don’t have a condom on.”
“Oh.” I noticed he wasn’t moving to grab one. “You’re not out of them, are you?”
He expelled a breath. “No. But are those birth control pills that you take in the bathroom?”
He must’ve noticed them amongst my things. “Yes, but—”
“I know what you’re going to ask. I get tested every six months for the life insurance thing, and I’ve always worn a condom. It’s been a hard line for me never to go bareback.”
“Wow. That wasn’t what I was thinking, although I guess the safe sex talk is important.” Especially given the number of partners he’d probably been with, but it hadn’t been the first thing on my mind.
“Then what was?”
“I just figured with me on the pill and you using condoms, we cut the possibility of accidental pregnancy down even further. And I kind of thought the risk of having a baby might be your worst fear in life.”
“Having a baby isn’t what scares me the most. It’s more about who it would be with. The thought of having a child with someone I barely know is what terrifies me. Because then what? Share custody, holidays, try to have a relationship based on that pregnancy? The nightmare would be not getting to be a full-time dad to my kid. But with you—it’s different.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond, given that I was completely blown away by his admission.
He misunderstood my silence. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. We can use a condom.”
I turned over to see him blushing. Clearly talking about this type of stuff was new to him. “I only paused because I was processing how incredibly mature that is. Most people think of pregnancy in terms of how it would ruin their life, but you’re considering something more important.”
He shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “I’m not saying it would be good for either of us right now. Obviously, you shouldn’t go off the pill or anything.”
I imitated the sound of a car crash trying not to laugh. “You should’ve stopped while you were ahead.”
He pinned me to the bed. “That’s what happens. My mouth always gets me in trouble.”
“I can think of some ways it could get you out of trouble.”
He quirked a brow, smiling roguishly. “Is that right?”
“Definitely. But not right now because we’re about to have sex without a condom for the first time.”
He practically growled with the thought. “Why are you on the pill by the way?”
“It’s used for more than just birth control you know.” I really didn’t want to get into the details of the female menstrual cycle or the fact that I’d been on it since age sixteen to help with cramps.
“Sorry. If it wasn’t obvious before, it probably is now that I’ve never had this sort of talk with a woman before.” He buried his face in my neck, nudging my legs wider, then stopped suddenly.
“If you’re having second thoughts, it’s okay.” My hands rubbed down his back.
“I’m not, but I’m trying not to come like a teenage boy at the thought of feeling you within five seconds.”
“Oh.” I smiled, listening to him get his breathing controlled, trying not to rush this. This was a big step for him and for us.
Suddenly I froze, watching him jump out of bed when my brother’s voice filled the room.
“Holy shit, he’s at the front gate.”
