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“Don’t even think about changing your mind about the party. I will find you and force-feed you a martini if necessary.”
“Looks as though you weren’t the only one worried I’d back out. To tell the truth, I’m tempted to stay in. Things in my life are a little crazy currently, so attending a party seems, I don’t know...”
Haylee lifted a brow. “Who would judge you? Not this crowd, that’s for certain. And if you’re not up to it tonight, there’s a luncheon tomorrow you could go to instead.”
I shook my head. “Thanks, but I need to take my mom to the airport.”
“That’s right. I forgot. If you don’t want to go tonight, I certainly won’t guilt you into it. That being said, I do have someone I’d love for you to meet.”
Wasn’t there a rule that you couldn’t be set up on your wedding anniversary while waiting on your soon-to-be ex to get arrested? No? There probably should be. But more significant than that issue, the thought of being intimate with someone new conjured up a whole other level of insecurity. I’d only ever been with Rob. Even that had been a long time ago.
“Although I appreciate it, I don’t think I’m quite up for it tonight.”
A flush crept across her pretty face. “Oh, no. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that kind of setup. Although what I’m about to suggest is probably equally as presumptuous, if not more so.”
“I’m not easily offended, so hit me with it.”
She smiled. “Okay. There’s a therapist by the name of Doctor Mark MacNally—Dr. Mac we call him for short. He’s a PhD, not medical, doctor, by the way. Turns out he’ll be attending the party tonight. He’s amazing. He’s helped me deal with my depression over losing my parents. And he’s also been great to talk to about my marriage. Thanks to him, we were able to navigate a year full of changes. Although he may specialize in grief, he’s really good with all things. I’m not implying you need someone to talk to, but if you do want to with all that’s happening—I’d be happy to introduce you.”
I was surprised. Not that she was suggesting I speak with a therapist—hello, my life lately practically begged for one—but rather that she was so open about her own struggles. From the outside, it appeared she had it all, much like my friend Sasha. Incidentally, Sasha had also confided to me she’d seen a professional for her anxiety disorder. Maybe there was something to be said about this whole counseling thing. I found myself genuinely curious.
“How does he help? Do you simply talk the entire time, or does he ask questions?”
“Both. He goes off your cues. Talking to him, at least for me, is cathartic. He directs my thoughts and doesn’t judge. Obviously, your friends and family will be there for you, but if you’re anything like I am, you don’t want to feel as though you’re a burden. That’s why it’s nice to unload on someone who makes it a profession to listen to people.”
I appreciated that she got the type of person I was. “I think me being up here is enough of a burden.” Especially since I was staying rent free in the building her husband owned, and I was being allowed to ‘work from home.’ “But I wouldn’t mind meeting him. Maybe I’ll get a sense then if I’d be comfortable talking with him professionally.” Perhaps he could help me put a plan in motion for my reinvention.
“Great. I’ll be sure to introduce you. And you’re not a burden at all. Matter of fact, Josh is happy that someone else is living here, especially since he works in New York during the week. His friend Mark has an office in the building, but he doesn’t live here or hang out much.”
Considering this apartment building was only a short walk from the Yale campus where Haylee went to school, was four stories high, and had multiple units, I’d been surprised to see it unoccupied. “Yeah, I noticed there weren’t any other tenants. Why is that?”
She sighed. “At first it was because Josh wanted to remodel all of the rooms before renting them out. But after the renovations were finished a few months ago, he was leery about who to rent to.”
“Ah. He worries about who might be sharing a building with his wife and daughter.”
She laughed. “Bingo. Even if I suggest only women move in, he’s worried about the men who may visit them. And I don’t think a doorman to screen people is common practice here in New Haven. Although I think Josh is sometimes overprotective, I appreciate he’s thinking of safety. For the record, I’m happy to have another mom I can talk to and hang out with during the week. I’d never tell him, but I get lonely. Monday through Thursday, I miss him.”
The bright spot in this situation was that I got to spend time with Haylee over the next few weeks. “I look forward to hanging out with you, too. And I definitely appreciate all you’ve done. Not only did you furnish the apartment, but you also showed me around town and are including me in everything.”
“So, does that mean I’ll see you up there soon? As a special tonight, they’re making pomegranate martinis.”
I smiled. “You had me at martini. See you up there.”
* * *
There wasone thing I knew straight off when I stepped onto the rooftop that was beautifully decorated for the party with white lights and small, high-top tables: I needed liquid happiness. Which meant locating the bar. The September night was crisp, especially compared to North Carolina. But outdoor heaters were located in several places around the wide-open space under which guests could mingle.
Simply sniffing the ruby-red pomegranate martini handed to me by the bartender started to give me a buzz. That’s how low my tolerance for liquor had plummeted over the last couple years, driven down by pregnancy, nursing and, you know, keeping my shit together as a single parent.
But I wasn’t a quitter. Matter of fact, I was determined to get my tolerance back up to a respectable level. Now this was the type of goal I didn’t think I’d have a hard time sticking with. I’d train hard if I had to. Someone cue the Rocky music.
On more serious matters, I’d given some thought to what Haylee had said earlier about her therapist, Dr. Mark something or other. But I was nervous about spilling my guts to a stranger. I might be outspoken when it came to giving my opinion or oversharing, but dealing with emotions and vulnerability was a different matter. If I ever did, it was often masked by sarcasm and a heavy dose of self-deprecation. That was my thing. But perhaps meeting the therapist tonight would give me a better sense as to whether or not I could be comfortable talking with a stranger. Actually, it might feel good to get some things off my chest to someone I didn’t have to see the next day if I didn’t want to. A safe zone, if you will.
I was relieved to see a familiar face and smiled when Brian Carpenter came up. He was both my boss and one of my best friends. Although people would be hard pressed to realize it, I was intimidated and feeling far out of my element here tonight.
“Hey, there. You look beautiful,” he complimented, kissing my cheek.
“Thanks.” He was always so polite. “Where’s your better half?” Sasha Brooks was his fiancée and another one of my best friends. We all had worked together in the Charlotte office of Gamble Advertising for years.
