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He handed me a take-out bag. “Here’s the food. I’m fine reading to him if you want to dish it up.”
“Uh, yeah, sure.” I took the bag into the kitchen and peered out at them on the couch. Tristan was on Mark’s lap while he happily read to him. We had done this countless times over the last couple weeks, so why was I about to hyperventilate about it tonight?
Because he had the power to hurt me, as demonstrated by Catherine's party. But it was much worse than that. Tristan was becoming fond of and growing attached to him. This was a level for which I was unprepared as I wasn’t sure how to keep things casual. Not that I was an expert, but I was reasonably certain reading Llama Llama books to my son didn’t fit the definition of no-strings-attached sex.
I turned away and put my elbows on the counter, trying to get a grip. When I felt his hands wrap around me from the back, I jumped.
“Don’t overthink it. This is no different than any other time we've had dinner and spent time together. Okay?”
I turned and buried my face in his chest so he couldn’t see how anxious I was.
“Deep breaths, Jules. We may have slept together, but we’re still friends. And I’m hanging out with you because I happen to like, like you, and I’m spending time with Tristan because he is the coolest little kid I know.”
I smiled at his remembrance of our double like conversation when I’d been sick.
“You okay?”
I nodded, starting to feel better.
“And again, I’m sorry about the Halloween party. I realize it sounds lame, but I mean it sincerely. I won’t ever ignore you again.”
Maybe the definition of what we were doing was cloudy, but we’d started as friends. I certainly didn’t want to end that nor our newfound physical relationship. “It’s okay. I was probably oversensitive. And I’m a little crazy. You know that, right?”
But instead of laughing like I thought he would, he pulled back and narrowed his eyes. “I’m about to tie you to the bed and leave you there until you say something nice about yourself.”
“Is it bad that turns me on?”
He quirked a brow and then laughed. “Not for me. Now, let’s eat dinner and be normal until I take you into your dark bedroom and have my way with you again.”
My mind went straight to the fantasy reel of what that would entail.
“Keep looking at me like that, and I’m going to fast-forward the clock to Tristan’s bedtime,” he whispered in my ear, giving it a nibble to drive the point home.
“How much longer until eight o’clock?” A pinch of guilt hit me even as the question left my lips. I’d never put someone before my son. But all of a sudden I was anxious to get Tristan to bed in order to have some adult time.
“We have an hour. Come on, let’s eat.”
The three of us sat down at the table where Tristan happily ate fried rice from his high chair, and Mark and I acted as we always did at dinner, with the exception of a lingering touch here or an innuendo there.
“How’s the math class coming along?”
I frowned, not liking the reminder. “Not great. English is better.”
“Math wasn’t my favorite subject, either.”
But I bet he’d been better at it than I was. “I’ll figure it out.” Or more likely I’d drop the class after my first exam next week. It wasn’t looking good.
“Is it Tristan’s bath night tonight?”
I was glad he changed the subject and shook my head. “Nope, we had bath time earlier. Once he’s done eating, I only need to change him and read him a book.”
Lucky for me, he was an easy child to put to bed. I truly enjoyed our time cuddling in the rocking chair where I read him a book and then hummed a lullaby. After kissing his forehead, I laid him down in his crib. Lastly, I covered him with his small blanket, something that would inevitably find itself wadded in the corner by morning. But it gave me some peace that he was warm enough for the moment.
Shifting my gaze toward the bedroom door, I saw Mark watching me with a tender expression on his face. My panic struck again. I was being irrational; no one wanted to take away this time I had with Tristan. Besides, this wasn’t some interloper. This was my friend, my lover now, but still my friend.
As if sensing my mood, he took my hand and waited while I shut the door softly. “I didn’t mean to intrude. I heard you humming and wanted to see you. You’re an amazing mom, Juliette.”
Once again, his compliment floored me.
