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“It goes beyond all of us. All we can do is be supportive. He may not be ready to move on, but clearly your leaving triggered something, so obviously he has feelings,” Brian offered.
Unable to contain my interest, I uncurled my feet and stood up in order to walk over to a wall with a number of photographs of Sarah. She’d been beautiful. Blue eyes; classic, straight, shoulder-length blond hair; slim and tall, with high cheekbones and effortless class. She couldn’t be more the opposite of me. I ran my fingertips over what appeared to be an engagement photo of the two of them together and smiled. He looked so young in the picture.
Although it would be easy to slip into insecurity through comparison, I found myself more curious than anything else. Maybe I’d conquered some of my demons, after all. “What was Sarah like?”
I glanced over my shoulder. Judging by their expressions, the question appeared to make both men feel awkward, so I mitigated. “Guys, he just thought I was her for the last twenty minutes. Give me something here.”
Brian cleared his voice. “Sarah was quiet and shy at first, but once you got to know her, she was more fun. She was always kind. They had a lot in common: law school, love of art, and tennis.”
I had to bite my cheek because I hadn’t known Mark loved art or ever played tennis. “How did she die?”
Josh sighed. “She was driving home from her parents’ place when she had a brain aneurism and went off the road. It took a few hours before they could locate the car in a ditch. By then, it was too late. She’d died.”
Brian came over to stand next to me, gazing at the photographs. “Mark was a mess. Blames himself for not being with her in the car.”
I noticed neither man mentioned cold feet. It occurred to me they might not be aware of that part of the situation. “When did he buy the house?”
“About six months before. They moved in together and planned to settle here in New Haven.”
“And, of course, he thought they had plenty of time.” I took a shuddered breath, thinking it tragic. “Thank you for telling me. I’m going to stay with him in case he wakes up again.”
“Are you sure?” Concern reflected in Brian’s expression.
I squeezed his hand with reassurance. “I love him. Whatever comfort I can give him, even if he thinks I’m her, I’m going to offer, at least until he can get help in the morning. If you like, I can call you once he wakes up.”
Brian shook his head. “I think Josh should head home, but I’ll stay in the guest room in case you need help.”
“I’m only five miles away if you need me.” Josh got up, probably anxious to get home to his wife and baby. “Juliette, you’ve been like family to Brian and Sasha for years, and with your stay up here, you and Tristan have become that for Haylee and me, too. I say this because I want you to understand how much you’ve come to mean to all of us. Your willingness to stay with him is admirable, but not even Mark would want you to do it at the expense of your well-being.”
“I appreciate your concern. We all know he may not be happy about me being here come morning, but I’ll see it through until then. Tomorrow afternoon, though, I need to leave in order to be home in time to put Tristan to bed.”
What I didn’t say was that I needed to put a time limit on this. I was here to help Mark, but I was also restricting how far I went in doing so. I didn’t want to lose myself in his problems. I couldn’t become consumed by them to the point I lost the progress I’d made in rebuilding my self-esteem. Nor would I allow Mark’s problems to take any more time away from my son.
“I’ll have my plane ready to take you home tomorrow afternoon. Call me, whatever time it is, if you need anything. Otherwise, I’ll see you in the morning.” Josh looked between us, and we both promised to do so.
After seeing Josh out and getting Brian settled in the guest room, I tiptoed back into Mark’s room. He was still fast asleep. Thankfully, I’d had my little hygiene kit at the office and had brought it along. I thought I’d take a quick shower, brush my teeth, and slip into bed.
About to open the door to his master bath, I prepared myself for what might be on the other side. What if Sarah’s things remained in there? Her toothbrush and toiletries sitting there after all these years? When I stepped inside, I let out a breath, grateful to find my fear unfounded. Only his things were visible.
After showering, I put on one of his clean T-shirts and slid into bed. In doing so, I noticed Sarah’s picture on the nightstand. Maybe it had been a mistake to come. I found myself wishing for the time to go by fast, so I could get back on a plane, away from the painful reality that Mark was far from moving on.
* * *
I awoke reallyhot and with a heavy weight on part of me. Mark’s legs were intertwined with mine. I tried to shift, but he only snuggled me closer, burying his face into my neck.
“I missed you, Jules,” he said on a sigh.
At least he knew who I was this morning. “I missed you, too.”
The next time I woke, I saw light peeking in through the partly shut blinds. The clock revealed it was already pushing nine o’clock. After extricating myself from Mark’s warm body, I quickly made myself presentable, dressing quietly.
I left some Advil I’d found in the bathroom on the nightstand before walking out to the kitchen in search of a glass of water. I also put on a pot of coffee, knowing he would need it.
Brian walked into the kitchen from the hall. “How is he?”
“Still asleep, but I’m sure will wake up with quite a headache.”
“I bet. You okay?”
