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Whatever woman Jace ends up marrying, no matter who she is, she will still never be good enough to deserve him. No one will ever be good enough to deserve this incredible man.
32
JACE
For a long while after that, I just lie there on her bed, holding her close. She rests her hand on my chest, and I’m almost surprised that she can’t feel it through my ribcage how much my heart is breaking for her.
Jesus Christ, to have gone through that, and at such a young age…
I suppress the urge to shake my head.
If anything had happened to Eli or Kaden or Rico, I don’t think I could’ve survived it. But Kayla watched her brother die, found his body, and she has somehow still managed to fight her way out of that pitch black hole of sorrow and become such a radiant person full of life and fire.
“So that’s why Dad is insisting that I always need to have a bodyguard with me,” she says eventually.
Her voice sounds more like her now. Strong. Determined. Confident. As if she has let the grief wash over her and has now reached the other side again. It strengthens something in my own heart.
“To make sure that nothing happens to me,” she continues. “To their one remaining child. But there’s no need for that, because I will never do something as stupid as that again.”
I search her face, noting the lingering pain there. “So you have always had a bodyguard looking over your shoulder? Ever since then?”
“Yes.” She raises her chin, and even though her blue eyes are now full of steel again, I can still hear the frustration and desperation lacing her voice. “Every day. My entire life. I have been watched, monitored, every single minute of my life.” Her expression softens, and she gives me an almost apologetic smile. “Which is why I’ve been giving you so much shit.”
An answering smile blows across my own lips. “Well, to be fair, I’ve been giving you a lot of shit too.”
“Yeah. You really have.”
I let out a surprised laugh as she gives my chest a playful shove. Then her eyes turn serious again.
“Can I ask you something, though?” she says.
My stomach dips at the tone of her voice, but I nod. “Of course.”
“Why did you take this job?”
Indecision flashes through me. I hadn’t planned on telling her this. But after all that she has just shared with me, how can I not?
So I clear my throat and hedge, “After what you just told me, this is going to make me sound like a petulant child.”
To my surprise, she just smiles at that and raises an eyebrow while her eyes glitter with mischief. “As opposed to your default state which is naturally the very picture of maturity?”
A laugh escapes my lungs, and I nudge her with my hip. “Funny.”
“It’s one of my many amazing qualities.” She grins. Then her expression turns serious again, and she cocks her head as she studies my face. “Just tell me. Why did you accept the job to be my bodyguard? From what I understand, you’re still in the middle of your senior year. So why ditch that to babysit me?”
“I, uhm…”
Raising my free hand, I rake it through my hair. I don’t even know how to start. Kayla just keeps watching me with those big blue eyes. I heave a sigh and decide to just go for it.
“Look, the people in my family have been hitmen for generations. So I’m expected to become one as well.”
Her eyebrows climb higher. “You can’t choose a different profession?”
“No.” I grimace. “My father made that clear very early. And I… I didn’t handle that so well. My brothers have no problem with it, but the fact that I don’t have a choice in my own future almost broke me. Which led me to… engage in destructive activities.” I clear my throat. “Anyway, long story short, my father made me a deal. If I successfully handle this bodyguard job, he will let me choose whether or not I become a hitman.”
Shock pulses across her beautiful face. “That’s what you have riding on this? Your entire future?”
“Yeah.”
