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She gave me another suspicious look. “Why not? That was the deal.”
“The Stacks were never part of the deal. Tutoring was the deal.” I cut my gaze from side to side, although the corridor remained empty. “I do not think either of us want to advertise what we’re doing, and the Stacks might not be the most popular place in the academy, but they are not private.”
“Where do you suggest?”
“We cannot go to the female tower. It is too suspect if I’m seen there.”
“And you’ve been told to keep away,” she reminded me.
“But I can get you into the cadet dormitory without being seen.”
She choked back a laugh. “You want me to go to your room?” Then she cocked her head. “What about your roommate?”
“He did not make it through the trials.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry.”
One of my shoulders jerked of its own accord. “Not everyone makes it through. That is the hard truth of the trials, especially the last ones.”
Jess relaxed her stance. Maybe she was remembering how we’d worked together in the maze, or maybe she was feeling some sympathy for me since my roommate had died.
I pounced on her hesitation. “I promise that I do not have anything in mind but tutoring.” That was a lie, but the truth was that even if I wanted to act on my desires, I would not. I could not.
She nibbled on her lower lip, drawing my gaze to her mouth, which was not helping. “I’d rather not have to admit that I’m tutoring you or why. It would prompt too many questions. But if you try anything, you should know that I’ll scream.”
Grek, why did she have to say that? Now I was thinking about how much I wanted to hear her screams of pleasure. Even better? Her screaming my name as I—
“Torq? Did you hear what I said?”
I tore my gaze from her mouth. “Every word. You can trust me.”
She made a face that told me she didn’t. “You were great in the maze, I’ll give you that. But I remember you cornering me at the bottom of the female tower, and I remember you hitting on our flight instructor. Your reputation isn’t exactly stellar.”
I wished I could tell her that I acted like an overconfident ass because I was the opposite of confident. Deep down, I was sure that without my clan and status, I was nothing. My greatest fear was that everyone would realize what a fraud I was once they peeled away my clan name and false confidence.
I had been able to reveal more of my true self in the maze, mostly because I was convinced we were all going to die, and I hated the idea of dying with people who despised me. But now I was a Blade, and I could not let anyone think I was weak. I could not bear if Jess felt pity for me, even though part of me ached to tell her the truth.
I thumped one hand across my chest. “I give you my word as a Drexian and a Blade, I will not lay a hand on you.” Then I dropped my fist and gave her my silkiest smile. “Unless you ask me, and then who am I to deny you your deepest desires?”
She rolled her eyes back in her head. “Trust me, I’m not going to ask, and there’s no way you could ever fulfill my deepest desires.”
My pulse spiked as she started walking ahead of me toward the cadet dormitories. Why had she said that? Why had she issued a challenge that was going to torment me every moment of every day until I proved her wrong? Why did I now want nothing more than to fulfill her deepest, darkest desires and hear the screams she’d teased me with earlier?
Because you know it can never happen, and you’re a glutton for punishment, I told myself as we walked toward my room, and what I could only guess would be the most exquisite torture cleverly disguised as tutoring.
I was a grekking fool.
Chapter
Fifteen
Jess
Ihesitated on the threshold of his room, but then hurried in ahead of him in case someone poked their head into the hall. When the door slid closed behind me, I had to fight the urge not to make a run for it.
This is by far the dumbest thing you’ve ever done, I told myself.
Not that there were a lot of impulsive mistakes and foolish choices to choose from, since I’d been the quintessential good girl for my entire life. Unlike most of the girls in my hometown, I hadn’t snuck out to go drinking in high school or fooled around behind the football stadium. I hadn’t flunked out of school, or gotten knocked up, or gotten a DUI. I hadn’t gotten so much as a parking ticket, and I hadn’t been kissed until I was eighteen.
