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“It is.” I swallowed hard. “But I failed.”
The admiral moved his head down so subtly it might have been a twitch. “Did you see why the cadet fell? Did he slip? Did he lose his grip?”
I pushed aside the image of his arms flailing, desperate to find purchase. “I did not see the moment he lost contact with the wall, but if you are asking if he was too weak to hold the rope or if he did not have the skills to climb the wall, then no. He did not slip. He did not lose his grip.”
“How can you know that?” My father jumped in before Zoran could reply, his face twisted in a sneer. “You said you did not see him fall.”
I wanted to ask him why he was there, why he’d come all that way just to torment me, but I didn’t. “He was not weak. He was not unskilled. He was a Blade who had successfully scaled the climbing wall, won sparring matches, and completed the circuit without falling.”
My father’s top lip curled. He despised my defense of the Blade because he hated that I was one. That was as clear to me as if he’d painted it on the wall.
Zoran cleared his throat, drawing my attention back to him. “That matches with all the reports about the victim, which makes it odd that he would fall.” He folded his arms over his chest. “It is no secret that cadets scale the tower every term, but it has been a long time since there has been a death because of it. And the forbidden tower has never before claimed a Blade.”
“Or a Wing,” my father added. I sensed he was enjoying the disgrace of my school.
My face flamed at the rebuke, but I ignored it and asked what I had to know. “Was our equipment checked after the fall?”
Zoran’s eyes narrowed. “You suspect his equipment malfunctioned?”
Or was sabotaged, I thought but didn’t say. I had no way to prove that the carabiner I’d dropped and then he’d picked up had been the reason he’d fallen, but my gut told me that Dom had handed me faulty equipment in hopes that I would fall—again. But a gut feeling was not enough to accuse a fellow cadet.
“All the rope and carabiners were collected by Commander Vyk. If there is anything to learn from them, he will find it.” Zoran released a pained breath. “You will join the rest of your Blade brothers in repairing the damage done to the dungeons last term, and your entire school will be penalized with a delayed start in the battle of the schools.”
I thought about arguing that the entire School of Battle shouldn’t be punished for the actions of a few first-years, but I realized that the punishment was intended to draw the ire of every other Blade. Part of our penance was to be despised by the rest of the school.
Then I remembered the broken body of my fellow cadet lying on the ground. The punishment was not enough. Not for the one responsible.
Chapter
Forty-One
Jess
Iwas going to kill him. This was the second time Torq had sent me into a panic thinking he was seriously hurt or dead, and now my reaction to him possibly being the Blade who’d died had outed me to Morgan. Not that she’d said anything. Not yet. But I’d seen the way she’d looked at me when I’d thought for a moment Torq had been killed. She knew.
It was my own damn fault, of course. I knew better than to get involved with a Drexian. I had more sense than to hook up with a fellow cadet. I should have known that hiding whatever I was doing with Torq would not be sustainable.
You’re no better than those dumb girls you used to make fun of back home, I told myself as I hurried down the wide staircase to the main hall. You fell for a bad boy just like they did. It just took you longer.
I hated that my own judgmental inner voice was turning on me, but what did I expect? I’d spent my life feeling superior to girls who foolishly fell for the wrong guys or tanked their futures for some dick, but here I was obsessing over a hot guy with a huge dick. I fucking hated comeuppance now that it was being served to me on a heaping platter.
I’d managed to weave my way through the crush of cadets heading to class, hoping I could put enough distance between me and Morgan that she wouldn’t be able to catch up and question me. I knew she wanted to know what was going on, but I wasn’t ready to confess all. Not without telling Torq first.
I reached the bottom step and dodged a cluster of Irons who’d paused to debate some new program, making a beeline for the stone arch leading to the School of Strategy. I hadn’t made it across the hall when I caught sight of Torq by the wall and by himself.
Without thinking, I rushed over to him. “You scared the shit out of me.” He looked dazed and exhausted but all the irritation at him leaving me alone in his room and the fear when I’d heard that a Blade had died, spilled from me in a torrent. “I thought you were the one who’d died, and I might never see you again and…”
A Blade slowed as he walked past us, and I stopped talking, realizing just how much I was giving away in a very public place. Torq’s expression darkened as his gaze tracked the Blade until the Drexian had crossed the hall and disappeared into the corridor leading to Battle. I would have asked him what that was about, but I’d already heard that the entire school was being punished for the misdeeds of the group of first-years. I doubted that would be the last Blade furious at Torq.
I dropped my voice. “I’m glad you didn’t die.” I lifted my hand to touch his arm but hesitated. “I was worried.”
As if he’d just realized where he was and who was standing in front of him, he lowered his gaze to me. But his eyes held none of the warmth I’d grown accustomed to. Instead, his gaze was cool and haughty, just like it had been when I’d first met him. “Why would you worry about me?”
I opened my mouth and closed it again. Was he serious? I knew that he was probably upset that one of his fellow Battle cadets had died but why was he acting like he didn’t know me? Then I remembered that he wasn’t supposed to know me. We were in different schools, and no one knew that we had any connection outside of the fact that we’d gone through the maze together. Even that wouldn’t have been reason enough to make us close enough that I would worry about him.
I shook off my confusion. “Right. I wouldn’t. I meant that I was sorry to hear about your fellow Blade.”
Pain twisted his handsome face for a beat then his bored expression returned, flickering only when an older Drexian approached. He wore a uniform, but it wasn’t one from the academy.
