AllFreeNovel
Share Us
As unfair as it was, I understood Dom’s anger and his need for justice. My brother and his high-born friends had gotten away with murder simply because of their clans. Drexian honor had been perverted in service to status, which should have been a rebuke to everything our people represented.
But Dom’s attempts to punish my brother by killing me was just as much of a perversion of justice. I had nothing to do with my brother’s actions, and our innocent Blade brother who’d been killed in my place had been sacrificed for nothing. And now he no longer wanted to kill me. He only wanted to hurt me.
I sucked in a breath of cool breath, flinching from the sharp pain shooting through my ribs, which might have been broken. What did he mean when he said he would take what I loved? I’d loved few things in my life. I’d thought I loved the Wings, but that had been an illusion. I’d only been trained to think I loved the Wings as much as my ancestors had. I now knew that I’d always been destined to be a Blade.
Did Dom plan to go after my family? Doubtful, since he was at the academy with me. That only left my friends, more Blades who were innocent of any crime.
And Jess. The voice in the back of my head was a whisper, as if even it was afraid to admit this out loud. Dom had walked past in the main hall as Jess had rushed up to me. I had not reacted to her, but she had been visibly emotional. Would he think I loved her?
Did I love Jess? I certainly desired her. My desire for her had been an obsession since I’d first seen her. It was an obsession that had driven me to blackmail her and then to pretend to be more injured than I was. It had driven me to accept her deal, even though I’d known that I would never be able to let her go once I’d claimed her.
My mind flashed back to being inside her, and how I’d felt powerful, invincible, whole. My pulse spiked and my heart raced as I remembered her soft moans, her sweet taste, her tight heat that made it almost impossible to retain any shred of control. I couldn’t imagine giving her up. I couldn’t imagine going without her. I couldn’t imagine how I would continue to breathe if anyone hurt her.
I almost stumbled, catching myself with one hand on the stone wall. I did love her. I loved her obsessively, completely, and totally. It didn’t matter that she was a human, that she was an Assassin, that she was not even a high-born of her own species. I loved her in spite of all of this. I loved her even though my family would never allow it. I loved her despite the fact that being with her would be impossible.
We were impossible because Dom could never know. He could never find out that Jess was the one thing I could not live without. He could not take her from me. I would kill him first. I would burn down the entire planet if she was harmed because of my clan’s dishonor. I would make them all pay.
I staggered to my door and stumbled inside when the door slid open. Before I could collapse onto my bed, Jess leapt up from where she’d been sitting on the foot of it. I stopped and stared at her. “What are you doing here? How did you get in?”
She flapped a hand at the panel on the side. “You disabled the lock last night. It was still disabled when I came to check on you.” Her eyes popped wide as she took in my disheveled appearance. “What happened to you? Were you in a fight?”
“I’m fine.” My mind raced as I realized that Dom might have seen her entering my room. Her being around me was no longer a risk to both of us, it was a threat to her life. “You cannot be here.”
“Torq.” Her voice was soft as she closed the distance between us and raised a hand to my face. “You’re bleeding.”
I pulled away, fear for her now eclipsing even the strongest desire to feel her touch and hold her in my arms. As much as I wanted to curl into her embrace, I could not put her in any more danger than I already had. My gut churned as I thought what Dom would do if he knew the extent of my love for her. If he knew that hurting her would destroy me, he would not hesitate. “You need to go. Now.”
She froze, her face twisting in confusion. “Is this about your father? I know he doesn’t approve of humans, but—”
“This is not about him.” I made my voice as cold and clipped as I could. She needed to stay away from me. She needed to want to stay far from me. She needed to despise me. “This is about me. I got what I needed from you. You got what you wanted from me. Our deal is done.”
“What?” She blinked rapidly, her eyes glistening.
I could not be swayed by tears, even if seeing them made my gut twist in agony. I leaned closer and summoned my cockiest sneer. “You were a decent fuck, especially since I was your first, but we were never anything else but some fun. We both knew that.”
“I thought—”
I gave her my most patronizing smile, one I knew would make her want to slap me senseless. “You thought me fucking you meant something? Like I said, you were fun, but I’m done. The end of term is approaching, and I do not want to have any loose ends.”
Jess’s cheeks mottled pink as she reared back from me as if I’d struck her. “You’re done? I’m a loose end—?”
“What? Did you think I would end up with a low-born human? Did you really believe you were good enough for a Drexian?”
She shook her head, as if refusing to believe my words. “I knew you were an asshole. I should have known that you could never change. This was all a game to you, wasn’t it? I was a game?”
I forced myself to give her an arrogant grin. “I did enjoy playing with you, but you should know about games more than anyone. Once you win, the game is over.”
She pressed her lips together until they turned white as her eyes flashed malice. She pushed past me, pausing at my door. “Thank you for proving my initial instincts right. I guess I now know to trust my gut no matter what some asshole Drexian tells me. Or maybe the lesson here is that all high-born Drexians are liars and cheats.” She glanced over her shoulder at me, disdain oozing from her. “Or maybe it’s just Drexians from your clan. Or maybe it’s just you.”
Each of her accusations were like body blows, but I made myself stay silent. I forced myself to watch her stride from my room and bit my lip to keep from calling after her. It was better that she go. It was better that she hate me. At least she would be safe.
When my door glided shut behind her and I was finally alone in my quarters, I shuffled to my bed and sank onto it, letting my head fall into my hands as grief and loss washed over me. I’d just broken the heart of the one person I cared most about in the universe. I’d made sure that she would never believe me, would never trust me, would never love me.
I’d broken my own heart to save her. It was the most honorable thing I’d ever done, and I knew I would regret it, would hate myself for being honorable, and would mourn hurting her for the rest of my days.
Chapter
Forty-Six
