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Dominic. Of course it was him. The little nurturer couldn’t bear to see one of his flock hurt.
“Go away, Dominic,” I snarled, setting myself up for another kick. “I’m not in the mood.”
He ignored me, stepping closer. “I understand that, but if you don’t stop, you’re going to hurt yourself.”
“Did you ever think that maybe I want to hurt? Maybe this is preferable to the fact that someone else is destroying my life’s work. My brother’s memory. Did you ever think that maybe this is the only way that I can function?”
He stepped into my line of sight, and my first instinct was to punch. Get ahold of yourself.
“If you want to hurt, I know more productive ways that you can do it.”
I laughed, rotating so I couldn’t see him again. “I’m not fucking you, Dominic.”
“I didn’t suggest it. We’re not there yet, but if you want someone to run you through your paces and wear you down, I can help.”
The anger inside me was nowhere near sated. It wanted a target, and Dominic was offering himself up on a pretty little platter. Any conversation we had was going to get toxic quick. “It’s a nice offer, but it isn’t what I need. Go away.” Just listen to me, please.
Regardless of how much he’d hurt me, I didn’t want to hurt him back. Not like this. Because I was more like Mario than I’d ever cared to admit, and I’d go for a kill shot every time.
“Maybe you don’t think so, but I do.” He stepped behind the heavy bag, holding it still for me. “You think I don’t understand you, but I do. You and I are far more alike than you think. That’s why we fight so much, and it’s why we’re so good together.”
“There is no we, Dominic. There is no us. You and I are not together anymore.”
“I understand that, just like I understand that’s my fault, but I’m telling you, I can help if you let me.”
“I think I’ll pass, but thanks.” I couldn’t decline again or I’d go postal. I just needed him to leave before I said something we couldn’t get past. “See yourself out.”
“That’s fine. That’s your choice. I just want to let you know that I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I know I’ve made mistakes and I have a lot to make up for, but I’m going to do it. I’m not going to let you go again.”
The pressure inside me was near to bursting, and I knew there was no stopping it now. I’d given him an out—more than one, really—and he’d chosen to stay. That was his fault. “Maybe not, but which Mari are you clinging to?”
“That’s fair.” He looked so serene, and it pissed me off.
I pulled off my gloves and tossed them to the floor. “Of course it’s fair! You can’t see me, Dominic. You only see her. Your precious little mariposa.”
“That’s not true anymore.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? What changed in such a short period of time?”
“You did. You almost died, Mari.”
The rage was melting into sadness—for me, for Antoni’s legacy, for all the bullshit I’d had to endure. For the way Dominic had hurt me. I hated it, and I hated him for pushing the conversation when I didn’t want to have it. “Why did it have to take me dying for you to get there?”
“I don’t know, but it did. Almost losing you was the worst moment of my life.” I scoffed, and he circled the heavy bag, keeping his distance but making sure I could see him. “I know you don’t believe that. I know you think that because you broke up with me that I don’t have feelings for you, that watching you lie in the hospital bed didn’t do anything to me, but it did. I’ve loved you since the first time you kissed me.”
Oh, fuck no. The anger disappeared in a wave of disbelief as Dominic dropped to his knees at my feet. I knew he’d told me he loved me at the warehouse, but we’d been dancing around it. I didn’t have the mental bandwidth to do more than that. Yet here he was, bleeding his heart onto the floor.
“I’ve loved you since the first time I held you in my arms, Marianna Marcosa. That hasn’t changed. Both of us may have changed, but that hasn’t. I loved you then, I love you now, and I’ll love you until the day that I die.”
“I don’t believe you,” I whispered, raw and agonized.
“I know, but it’s true. I just got lost because I couldn’t recognize you at first. That’s not your fault, it’s mine. I came here expecting nothing to have changed, and I couldn’t accept the fact that you had other people who had replaced me. So, I hurt you. I will always live with that regret.”
I was frozen, staring at him. How did someone respond to a love declaration from their ex? “I can’t say it back.”
The disappointment I expected never manifested. “I know. I’m not asking you to. But you should know I’m going to earn it. I don’t care if it takes a year, five years, ten years. I’m not leaving this city. I’m not leaving your side. I’m not walking away.”
Pretty words that I didn’t believe he could back up. “What happens when you see something you don’t like? I can’t go back to who I was, Dominic. Not only is it impossible, it would get us all killed.”
