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“I found out the night of my graduation when the girl sent me pictures and told me how in love they were and how he was just afraid to tell me because he didn’t want me to react poorly.”
“Apparently by that point they were an item but he was still trying to find a way to tell me, and she got tired of waiting. All their friends knew, all our friends knew. I was the only one…”
“So you never slept with him.” That seemed to be the only point of the story he cared anything about. “No!” Honestly I still don’t know why.
It’s not like everyone else wasn’t having sex. It’s high school for crying out loud. But I just never was able to bring myself to want to.
I’d always thought it was the fear of the pain of losing my virginity that held me back, but now I’m not so sure. I sure wasn’t acting afraid now.
“Good girl!” I lifted my head and looked at him. He had a very serious look on his face that was hard to read. Of course I got nervous and shared my fear with him.
“I think the reason I never did is because I’m afraid. I don’t know why, but I have this fear of…you know…going all the way.” Saying it out loud sounded so lame. In this day and age that old antiquated fear seems out of place.
“I promise that when I take your virginity you’ll love it.” Whoa! Can a heart stop beating and you still live? It felt like it.
There was a well of emotion in me and it was all centered in my chest, until it made its way down south. His words sounded so final. As if it was a foregone conclusion.
“You…ahem…you sound very sure.” His arms squeezed tight around me. “I am!” Well, what can I say to that?
Thankfully the baby woke just then and I busied myself taking care of her, giving myself time to cool down and for the blush to leave my face.
We played with the baby, ate lunch and enjoyed the scenery, lazing away the morning and afternoon until it was time to go back. I almost hated to.
So much had passed between us in those few hours. He’d asked and I’d opened up even more about my former life. He seemed genuinely interested in every little detail.
I told him about the accident that had put me in a coma and what had led up to it. Something else that I’d never shared with anyone. The fact that it was a fight with Jack that had led me to drive away distraught and distracted.
For the rest of the day, even after we returned to the house, he didn’t let me out of his sight. When the baby went down for the night, we found ourselves once again sitting on the verandah.
This time he drew my chair closer and we held hands as we whispered long into the night. We had so much to say to each other for two people who’d only just met.
But there was no force, every word was natural and easy between us. I didn’t think it was prying when he asked leading questions, and by the time we turned in for the night it felt like I’d shared every detail of my life with him.
When he walked me to my room and kissed me at the door I thought for sure he was going to end up in my bed. What’s even more surprising, I don’t think I would’ve stopped him if he asked.
But he didn’t. Instead, after kissing me senseless, he just brushed his finger down my cheek with a “sleep well love!” And disappeared down the dark hallway to his own door.
“Go to bed Noelle.” How did he know I was still standing there, watching?
“Goodnight!” I entered my room with my heart racing out of time and a smile on my face.
Noelle
That was yesterday and every moment since then I’ve been on pins and needles waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for him to take things to the next level. It was obvious that he wanted to.
Last night my dreams had been even more heated than usual and I’d been racing to the end, wanting so badly to feel him inside me finally. If only in my dreams!
But of course I woke up as usual just when things were getting good. I laid awake longer this time, feeling twitchy and needy.
There was a strange sound intruding on the stillness of the night and I strained to hear it as it grew closer, louder.
I almost had heart failure as I listened to what sounded like weeping outside my balcony door. But the sound was soon gone and I was able to put it out of my mind as a comforting warmth enveloped me.
