Page 99 of Playing Mr. Perfect

“It’s not okay,” she says angrily, and pushes out of my arms, swiping at tears. “I could’ve died, and my family never would have gotten through that.”

“But you didn’t, baby. All kids get into accidents. My mother always said, It’s not if your child will get into a car accident; it’s when, because kids are kids. They’re always distracted and thinking of a million things.”

“But I wasn’t usually like that. I was reckless, and that night broke us. It changed the course of both of our lives.” Her eyes dampen anew. “I lied to Sable about the deer. I told her it came out of nowhere, and I didn’t tell her about the text. She took the blame because she felt guilty about making me drive at night, and I let her do it. I didn’t know it would change her.”

“Of course you didn’t,” I say gently. “You were just a kid.”

“But I never told her the truth until last year, when a friend told me about something similar she went through and how it affected her.”

I frame her face with my hands and brush away her tears with the pads of my thumbs. “Kids lie to cover their asses all the time, and from what I know about Sable, she’s very protective of you. I’m sure she forgives you.”

“She does.” Pepper sniffles, managing a small smile. “But she blamed herself for wanting to be with Tuck. She broke up with him that night and never let a man get close to her again. Until Kane, and he had to bully his way into her heart. I hate that I made her into that person and stole all those years from her.” More tears slide down her cheeks.

“You didn’t make her into anything, sweetheart.” I wipe the fresh tears away. “She made a choice to protect you, and she became whoever she was supposed to be. Is this what you were referring to in Paris when you said hurting someone you love or putting them in danger can change a person?”

She takes a shaky breath, nodding. “I was never very adventurous, but I wasn’t as careful or rigid as I am now, either.”

“You’re not rigid, baby. You’re disciplined, and careful is good. I’m not negating that you might have changed, but you’re such a special person, I don’t want you to lose sight of that. I love who you are.”

She swallows hard and takes a deep breath. “Thank you. But I did change. You know how everyone thinks I did great at school because I’m smart, and it’s just who I am?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it’s not just that. I was always a good student, but I blamed my recklessness on being too boy-crazed about Ravi. I broke up with him and threw myself into schoolwork to keep from thinking about him or any other boy. It wasn’t because I was smart. It was because I was scared. When I let my guard down in college and got hurt, it renewed my determination to keep my walls up and focus on making something of myself so I wouldn’t notice my lack of a personal life.”

“And then I came into your life and blew all of that out of the water.”

She smiles. “Pretty much.”

“I’m sorry you went through that. It must have been hard keeping all those feelings in check for so long. I wish I could go back in time and be there for you and help you through it. I’m sorry I called you Reckless. I won’t call you that anymore.”

“It’s okay,” she says earnestly. “I like it when you call me that. You make me feel reckless, and that scared me when I left Paris because I’ve worked so hard not to be that way. But you also make me feel safe, which makes me want to be a little reckless with you. I like who I am with you.”

“That’s good, because I like who I am with you, too.”

That earns another smile. “Being with you has made me realize that I’ve either been suppressing a lot of myself, or maybe I just never allowed myself to grow, and change, and explore, in the ways I am with you. I think you were right when you said I’m becoming who I was always meant to be, but that’s because you make me feel safe enough to do it.”

I hug her again, trying to wrap my head around the emotions stacking up inside me. “I adore everything about you, Pepper. From the way you fidget when you’re nervous to the way you communicate cautiously until you truly trust completely, and then you share the most intimate pieces of yourself clearly and purposefully, as if everything is on the line. And it is, because it’s your heart you’re exposing. I’m glad you feel safe with me, baby, and I will do everything in my power to make sure you always do.”

“Thank you,” she whispers. Blinking away a few more tears, she wipes her eyes dry. “It’s a little scary, opening up like this. I’m not a crier, and I’m sorry for that.”

“Don’t ever apologize for showing me how you really feel. I want to know the real you, good, bad, happy, or sad. What we have is powerful, baby, and it’s moving fast. It scares me, too. I’ve never cared about anyone outside my family as much as I care about you. You’re right up there with football.”

“Given who you are, I’m going to take that as a compliment. But I’ve spilled my soul, and I feel a step behind. You’re here in my world, and you know all about my life, but I don’t know that much about yours. You’ve been here for days. When do you have to go back?”

“Are you trying to get rid of me, Montgomery?”

“No. I’m just curious.”

“Your curiosity has good timing. I was going to mention that I fly out tomorrow morning for a photo shoot. I have dinner with my agent and a potential sponsor tomorrow night, but I’ll be back early Tuesday.”

“Oh, okay,” she says with a hint of surprise. “How long can you stay when you come back?”

“However long we want. There’s nothing in Jersey that can’t wait, and I like it here. I’ve got great company, a full gym all to myself, and a kid to mentor, which I’m really enjoying. If you get sick of me, you can let me know.”

“Oh good. Then I’m not stuck with you,” she says teasingly, and snuggles in against my side. “I’m glad you’re coming back. I just don’t want to hold you up from doing whatever you need to. I don’t even know when your season starts.”

“We report back mid-April, and we play through January.”