Page 158 of Blade of the Nightking

Another wave rolled over the spot, swallowing it beneath a wash of white before slipping away again. Another followed.

I kept waiting for her. For her head to break the surface. For the sound of her gasp. For anything.

Beside me, every muscle in Rìan's body strained, his teeth gritted so hard I thought they might shatter. The silver in his eyes flared brighter and brighter until it almost hurt to look at him, the light burning against the night.

But slowly, agonizingly, it began to fade. I watched it dim little by little, watched it drain from him until at last it guttered out, leaving his eyes dark as they remained fixed on the place where his sister had disappeared.

The sea rolled against the shore, rising and breaking, rising and breaking, utterly indifferent to what it had taken.

Veylan's shadows loosened and unwound themselves from around Rìan's body.

He sank to his knees. Water rushed around his legs, soaking through his clothes as his head bowed. His shoulders rose and fell with each ragged breath, but no sound came.

Only then did I realize I was crying. Tears streamed hot down my face, turning cold where the wind caught them. Somewhere through the roaring surf and the frantic pounding of my own heartbeat, I realized I was whispering her name over and over again, pleading with the sea to return her to us.

“Levinica,” I whispered hoarsely. “Levinica…”

But the waves continued their endless motion, unaware or uncaring, and still she did not surface. Slowly, terribly, I understood.

Levinica had gone to find her son.

And she wasn’t coming back.

CHAPTER 33

My pillow was soaked through.

I wasn’t sure how I’d gotten back to the apartments, who had peeled off my sodden, sand-covered clothes, washed the grit from my feet, tucked me beneath the blankets.

Nadja. It must have been Nadja.

And yet, I didn’t remember seeing her at all. All I could see was Levinica’s face. The soul-shattering grief in her eyes. The terrible resolve beneath it I hadn’t recognized until it was too late.

I should have known then. I should never have let her walk away. I should’ve followed her, should’ve realized what that final look meant, should’ve done something. I could have stopped it.

I could have stopped it…

The sobs that tore from my chest barely sounded human. I wanted to tear my heart out so I’d never have to feel anything again. For once, I wished for my power. I prayed for it to rise inside me, to take this hurt away, to strip me of every feeling I had until there was nothing left but that blissful emptiness. How was I supposed to survive this? The guilt, the shame, the sorrow pressing down so heavily I could hardly breathe.

My friend… My friend…

The grief broke over me like the waves beyond the castle windows. She had offered herself to the sea, and it had taken her gladly.

I knew the madness hadn’t brought her to the grave. I knew that the female who’d walked into that water hadn’t been lost or confused or trapped in some terrible vision only she could see.

No. This time, Levinica had seen clearly.

There were no real prayers to the Seven Gods. None that humans remembered anyway. No beautiful verses passed down through generations, no sacred words whispered over the dead or offered in moments of sorrow. Our prayers were short, desperate things we made up ourselves, each in our own way, spoken to gods who had turned their backs on us long ago.

And yet, I couldn’t stop the words that spilled from me in an endless flow.

“Please,” I whispered raggedly against my pillow. “Please forgive me for what I’ve done. Forgive me for not seeing it. For not stopping her.” My fingers curled tighter into the blankets. “Watch over her. Please. Wherever souls go when they leave this world, don’t let her be alone there too.”

My eyes burned as they drifted shut, the roar of the sea still echoing somewhere in the distance, that dreadful sound I wished I could shut out.

“Please… Please…” Behind my closed lids, I saw her again—saw the moment the waves pulled her under. She hadn’t struggled. She hadn’t fought. “... give him back to her.”

Sometime after that, with her name still trembling on my lips, I finally fell asleep.